Saturday, December 04, 2004

Lessons Learned

Being raised by someone who is Native American, you are taught that things don't happen out of circumstance. Things happen for a reason, and people come into your life for a purpose. To end this "The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past" series I'd like to share a little bit about why I think these men came into my life.

The Hero

While The Hero relationship ended rather badly, he still was my first love. He was my first everything. I try to remember the good about him while never forgetting the bad. He taught me that jealousy is not cute, or a way to show how much you care. He taught me to leave even while you still love, if it is what is best for you.

The Rocker

The Rocker came into my life to show me that not all men are jealous or possessive. That some men are secure in their selves, and secure in you. He showed me that a relationship could be fun and silly, and that it didn't have to be so serious all the time.

The Director

I've always heard the phrase, "You're not marrying his family, you are marrying him." The Director's family's values were so out of synch with my own that there is no way we could have ever been together. He taught me that while you'll never totally agree with a family's values/customs, they at least better be a little similar, or you are heading for nothing but stress and conflict.

The other thing The Director lead me to was writing, more notably screenwriting. He encouraged me, and he believed in me. I could never be thankful enough for that, and I will never settle for less then that again. Also, when you love someone, sometimes you have to do what is best for the, even if it doesn't feel like it is the best for you.

The Devil Himself

I always used to wonder about women that let men treat them bad. It baffled me that people would stay in that type of relationship. The Devil Himself didn't show me why, but he showed me that it could happen to me. He showed me that it could sneak up on you in the most passive-aggressive way possible, and it'd hit you before you knew it.

I will never, ever be in that position again. Ever.

The Mystery Man

The Mystery Man is still rather fresh, and I'm sure I'll have more perspective when I can separate myself better from it. I do think though that he might have taught me that even when everything looks good on paper, it just isn't in the cards or meant to be. There is no logical explanation why, it is just what it is.

I also learned that I am a bit more damaged that I thought from previous relationships, as my trust factor with the whole depending on someone thing isn't all that high. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. One thing is for certain, for someone who always thought they didn't have any baggage, I sure am pulling an awful big cartloads of it behind me...

I shall now return you to your regularly schedule blog, the blonde goofy chick that builds cars for a living and writes on the side...


MR Hester said...

I agree with you that things happen for a reason, even my marriage to the Domestic Abuser happened for a reason. I'm not mad at him, don't wish him ill and even feel sorry for him because he is destined to a lonely life of misery and it's starting to show.

Willful Exposé said...

hey, you may want to know that I liked your series so much I linked to it. c.f. the appropriate category.
w.e. @

biggaysam said...

Native American??? Where are you? I'm in the four corners area of New Mexico and spent my life growing up with Navajos, Hopis, Zunis, Utes, Jicarilla Apache, and various other pueblo tribes. I have Navajo relatives.

What nation are you? :o)