Ghosts of Boyfriends Past Part II

The Rocker

The Rocker is a beautiful man. He is the only guy I've dated that falls into that "pretty" category. Technically speaking, I do not find guys that are prettier then me attractive. He wore me down though...lol

He is tall, 6'4 to be exact. When I met him he was long and lean with green eyes, long dark hair, and chiseled features. To this day he still has the sexiest smile I have ever born witness to, including all those pretty celebrity boys. The drummer for a popular Chicagoland band, he had no problem in the women department. That is, until he met me.

An old friend from High School, H, was married to the lead singer of this band. We ran into each other one day, and she invited me out to hear her hubby's band play. Oh, how grateful I was for this invitation.

It was about 9 months after the infamous slap from The Hero. When you have been with someone as long as I had been with him, your friends are pretty much mutual. I of course had the circle of soul mates, but most of them were just married and into the whole newlywed thing.

Any mutual friend that we had that still had contact with him was gone. It took me 6 months to finally escape the stalking, and I didn't want to chance him finding me. My whole world had been turned upside down, and I had crawled into a safe little hole.

I agonized over what I was going to wear that night. The Hero was real good at being passive aggressive, especially when it came to what I wore. I realized what I was doing, and said Fuck it. I put on a lil baby doll dress (1994 people) and dolled myself up.

Oh, I noticed him immediately, even though I pretended I didn't. That one is trouble, I thought. He was surrounded by a half dozen or so groupie type chicks, and enjoying every minute of it.

He left the groupies to pout and came over to my old friend H and I. "Where have you been hiding her?" he asked while flashing that damn smile. H didn't skip a beat. "She's not a groupie, and she's nice. Stay away."

We proceeded to get a couple of cocktails as H's hubby called The Rocker up to the stage to begin their set. They were phenomenal. Definitely one of the best live bands I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of bands. All of them were versatile, and they took turns singing and playing different instruments.

At the end of the first set The Rocker took the mike. "We usually don't do covers, but for tonight I want to sing "Brown Eyed Girl" for my new friend Kelly."

Ok, so that was really fucking cool and smooth. I'll admit it got to me just a bit. Judging by the angry stares from the rest of the women in the club, I had reason to think it was cool...

I told him over and over that I didn't want a boyfriend and that I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship. "That's cool, we'll be friends," he said.

So we did. Become friends that is, and we had an absolute blast together. We were like a comedy team or something. We could play off each other like nobody's business, and soon after we started "hanging out" people would beg us to come to their parties, as we were always the life of the party.

I don't know how he did it, but somewhere in there he managed to turn us into boyfriend/girlfriend. This is still one of the great mysteries of the world in my book, because I don't really even remember it happening. It just happened.

So there we were. The fun couple. Everything was quite good for awhile there until I realized that I was still carrying a cart load of luggage from my past relationship. That, and his best friend was a total scum bucket.

You see, one of the reasons why The Rocker and I clicked so well was we were in a similar situation. I had not gotten used to my new body and looks, and as it turns out, he was a rather pudgy, short, braces and glasses wearing dork in high school.

He understood! The one problem in all of this was R. R was his best buddy from school, and he was the "cute" one before The Rocker hit his growth spurt, thinned out, got contacts, and had the braces removed. I don't think R was very happy with this new situation, and he was always trying to one-up The Rocker.

One night I had a few friends over, and R showed up. The Rocker was not feeling so good, and he went to lay down for awhile. Everyone left a bit later, but R stayed.

I'm sure you can see where this one is going from a mile away, but my dumb, naive ass didn't have a clue.

R told me how he found me attractive. I said, "Thanks, that's nice of you to say." The next thing I know, he has his tongue half way down my throat. I pushed him off of me, and started yelling at him. "Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll wake up The Rocker!" he kept whispering over and over. He apologized, chalked it up to drinking a bit too much, and promised it would never happen again. He begged me not to tell The Rocker.

I didn't have much choice, as he told him the very next day. The only problem was he told the story with me attacking him and begging him not to tell The Rocker.

I tried calling him all that next day, but all I got was his machine. I just figured maybe he still didn't feel well, and he'd get a hold of me when he was better. Another day went by with no word from him. That night, he showed up on my doorstep.

The poor guy looked like he'd been through a war. I figured he was still sick, and invited him in. He came in and laid it all out for me. "That's not true!! It was the other way around!" I pleaded.

He didn't believe me. We argued back and forth over it. He went to run frustrated fingers through his hair and I didn't something that freaked him out even more: I dodged. "Do you think I would HIT YOU?"

Too much baggage, too soon, too little trust. It was so over, for both of us. I was hurt and angry that he didn't believe me, he was hurt and angry because he thought I cheated on him.

This all happened probably in about a 4 month time span, which might not seem like enough time to consider someone a serious part of your life. The difference with The Rocker is I dated him after boyfriend #3 and #4 also.

Other things drove us apart then. His only child syndrome. My reluctance to sit in a bar weekend after weekend listening to the same songs. We are incredible as friends, but not as lovers.

So what happened to his best friend? 6 months after the incident with me he was caught cheating with another of their good friend's fiance. He confessed to the whole deal with me, and The Rocker came crawling back.

It was too late, as I had already met The Director