Sunday, December 26, 2004

Holiday Hangover

Man do I have a Holiday Hangover.

A Holiday Hangover is a lot like a hangover you get from drinking, except you don't have the drinking part. You are tired, worn out, your stomach does weird things, and wondering what the hell you did the next day when all of the bills start showing up.

My house has remnants reminding me that it was Christmas. While all the presents are gone from under the tree, I keep finding bits and pieces of wrapping paper here and there. I stepped on a brand new cat toy this morning that made me slur a string of cuss words together that would have made the Teamsters at work jealous.

My stomach is also doing weird things and making weird noises. Since Thanksgiving isn't spent pigging out on anything we can get our hands on, Christmas kind of makes up for that. I usually don't eat real high fat/sodium/cholesterol foods, so right now I feel like a total blimp. My hands feel swollen, my feet feel swollen, and I probably won't get out of these track pants for at least two days.

My voice is totally gone. I went from sounding like Melanie Griffin (it's just as annoying to me as everyone else) to sounding like someone who has smoked 2 packs a day for 40 years. This part might have something to do with how we snuck out to gamble after the children were all snug in their beds. Yo baby Yo baby Yo. I killed 'em at the Crap table, but they killed my voice right back.

My face is sore also. It hurts to smile, as I smiled and laughed so much yesterday my facial muscles feel like they did a buns of steel workout. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I thought I'd bitch about it anyway, just for good measure.

All in all, the Holiday Hangover is totally worth it. Yesterday was a wonderful day, we had a great night, and I'm sure I can drink away this water weight. I also got those creepy freakin' Bratz Dolls out of my house. I don't have to sleep with one eye open anymore.

Now if someone could just tell me what I can do with 20 lbs of vanilla bubble bath, I'll be straight...

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