So today I got to only work 9 hours. This gives me three extra hours. As exciting a prospect as this may be, you have to realize that these three hours occur between 3 am and 6 am. I don't think I know of one person that would be just delighted if I knocked on their door at 3 am and said, "Hey! I got off work early! Let's do something!"
It would be a rather nice pay back for those that call me at 9 in the morning full well knowing I usually don't get into bed until about 7 am. Tempting as it was, I passed.
I decided to go shopping and pick up some new ornaments for the cat jungle gym/Christmas Tree. At 3 am you don't have the most choices in the world, and where I live, you have approximately 2, more if you are going grocery shopping. The non food choice stores are Walmart and Meier.
I hate both of these stores, but I don't have much of a choice.
What can you learn at Walmart at 3am? First of all, if you like Nascar, you can get everything in Nascar. Pajamas, they got it. Purses, they got it. Wallets, they got it. Christmas ornaments, they got it.
Back the fuck up.
They actually make Nascar Christmas ornaments. I swear they do, I saw them.
Anyway, you also learn that even though it is Chicago and it is about 41 degrees out it is perfectly acceptable to take your child to the store with no shoes or socks on.
Another good thing to do at Walmart at 3am is to talk to the dudes that clean the floor with the big machines. They know when everything goes on sale. They are like the inside tip people at Walmart. I swear they also have photographic memories, as today Wally the dude with the thick Polish accent said, "You come in real early tonight!" I don't go there that much, really. I.don't.
So while I was walking towards the Christmas section to look at ornaments, I passed the toys. They didn't have this kind of stuff when I was a kid.
I shuddered as I passed a full on visual assault of Bratz Dolls, and walked quickly before they did Vulcan mind tricks on me or something. They have a EZ Bake Microwave. It must cook those little pies in 5 hours instead of 12.
It would be nice to be a kid again and have all these new fangled gadgets that they have, but if I could pick one toy that I could play with now, it would be really simple.
Two words: Green Machine.
I hearted my Green Machine.
This inspired me to do a search for Green Machines when I got home, and you will never fucking guess in a million years what the wonderful people at Huffy have done.
Are you ready for this? There is a Green Machine for adults! Well, it really isn't for adults, but it holds up to 180 pounds, so I am a good 50 pounds under that limit.
I have to have one. I don't care if I am 33 years old. I MUST HAVE A GREEN MACHINE!
It kind of makes you wonder why they are making them hold up to 180 lbs, but all I have to say is God Bless all those tank ass kids out there!
I'm getting a Green Machine!
What item would you like to see made for adults from when you were a kid?