Friday, December 03, 2004

Ghosts of Boyfriends Past V

The Mystery Man

This one is going to be a bit harder to write about, as for my own sanity and discretion I cannot say to much about him, hence the name "The Mystery Man."

I met TMM in early 2000, and he was working here in Chicago. He was only going to be in and out of town for about 6 months working on a project, and then he would be returning back to his home base in California.

Our relationship was kept secret for undisclosed reasons, except for our respective immediate family and very close friends.

Man, this post is going to blow. I don't like writing with my hands tied, but I shall try to make it suck as little as possible.

TMM was an arrogant, self-confident jerk. Or so I thought. I couldn't stand him. He infuriated me. Damn did I like this guy.

Judging from the time period between The Devil Himself and TMM, I had went into self imposed exile from men, except for my 3rd fling with The Rocker. After awhile I started dating, but nothing serious. I needed to heal after the last relationship.

TMM was way different from any other guy I had ever dated. He made his intentions quite clear from the beginning, and he was not shy about it at all.

Eventually he wore me down, and we started to get serious. I'd warn him that he'd be returning to Cali soon, and he's warn me that he'd be returning to Cali soon. We decided that when he went back, that would be it. The whole relationship would be chalked up to some much needed fun on both sides, and that would be it.

Easier said then done.

He was gone a whole day when I opened my email to see a first class airline ticket itinerary in my inbox going to Cali on Friday and coming back on Sunday.

So much for that being it.

You see, TMM was loaded. A plane ticket to him was like sending a cab for me or something. I still wasn't all that comfortable with the situation, as I can only imagine how much a first class ticket costs. He argued that it was no big deal to him, and he missed me. He had a certain power in his line of work, so he could easily get a future project to be done in Chicago, so why couldn't we continue with our relationship?

Oh and we did, for a couple of years. Until last year around this time to be exact. My job started requiring a lot of long hours from me, and going there for weekend trips were more of a burden then an enjoyment.

He would moan and bitch about coming to cold Chicago when we could be on a beach in Sunny California, Hawaii, or anywhere else my little heart desired.

So why in God's name didn't I just marry the dude? Well, for one, he never asked. Two, I would never issue such an ultimatum, as I don't find a forced proposal all that romantic. Three, I just couldn't depend on him. Four, I just don't know if I'd be able to spend my life with him.

My independent streak is much to great to depend on a man for my livelihood. I don't think I ever could, being through what I've been through, seeing what people around me have been through...

I would have to depend on him for at least a little while if I up and quit my job. Then there is the issues with my sister's kids, the issues with his work, the issues with our different social status's (or however the hell you would spell that).

I never felt comfortable in the world of the incredibly wealthy, and I don't know if I ever would. He had been around that kind of money his whole life, so he saw it as no big deal.

My Mom told me that I would know if this was someone I wanted to spend my life with. I didn't know. I did know that I loved him, but towards the end it almost was a relief when I didn't see him, and that definitely doesn't happen when you are butt ass in love with someone.

So I let him go. He let me go.

We still talk all the time, and now I miss him. Go figure.

That almost concludes The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past series. I'm planning on doing a little write up tomorrow on what I learned from each of them and why they came into my life. I do believe that everyone comes into our lives for a reason...


princessr9 said...

Very nice wrap up. Thanks for sharing.

Strawberrie-Shortcake said...

It's confusing when things are so right, but so wrong at the same time. You'll always wonder about him and have love for him in you're heart. I think you did the right thing ...and with every passing relationship you find out a little more about you and what you want out of life. Congratulations and good luck on your journey.

rancette said...

I agree, very nice wrap up. sorry it didnt work out with any of them. :( but I enjoyed reading the posts. I think the Rocker deserved what he got, but he was probably my favorite. TMM sounds nice too. It's too bad that you didn't "know" about him. But you're right if you're making a commitment to someone, it may as well be to someone you're sure about.

The Bard Sinister said...

Nice ending to the story. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult to maintain. (I have had a few.) It's hard to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone when they are only in your life for occasional weekends and on the telephone. Some people are satisfied with part-time relationships, but many of us want more. Good for you, for not settling for a relationship that was less than everything you want.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I just read through all your stories about those exboyfriends.

Have a great holiday.


Deek Deekster said...

I agree with your ending.. people come for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and that includes people to whom you become romantically linked.

But, I am afraid, you have stimulated my appalling curiosity and now I am thinking of starting a fund to afford a private detective to establish the identity of TMM ;)