Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Things that make me want to poke my eyes out...

I was really bored at work today. These days happen about, oh twice a year. The rest of the year I am running my ass off all over a plant that is like 100 miles long (or at least it feels like it), fixing crap and dealing with people that are forced to use computers even though the most technical thing they have ever accomplished is setting their alarm clock.

I love my job...

Anyway...I was bored and my partner was bored, so I decided to make a list of things that make me want to poke my eyes out. Here are the top ten, because as it turns out, there are a ton of things that make me want to poke my eyes out...

10. Grown women of seemingly average or above intelligence (mentally challenged people excused) who wear any form of Winnie the Pooh on their person, or personal effects such as hats, purses, or shoes.

9. People who wear baby T's accessorized with fat rolls. Even little fat rolls. Any amount of fat in the midsection of the body. Any at all. Ok, I'm done with this one now.

8. Animals with more expensive outfits on then whatever I'm wearing at the time. Ok, any animal with any outfit on.

7. Bobble heads. They creep me out.

6. Botoxed people. The bored housewives from my neck of the woods seem to have discovered it lately, and they all remind me of mannequins. They creep me out worse then the bobble heads.

5. Almost every bumper sticker I have ever seen, except for the one that says, "Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks your an asshole."

4. Couples that dress in matching outfits. There is a couple I work with that dresses the same every day. Yes! You read that right! Every day!

3. Nipple piercings that show through a thin shirt, cuz that just ...ouch... creeps me out ...ouch...

2. People that still have hair wings. The only way anyone will be excused from hair wings is if they have been living in a coma for 25 years.

1. Paris Hilton. Nothing can top her for making me want to poke my eyes out.

If you are a Winnie the Pooh, chubby baby T wearing, bumper sticker loving doggy dresser, no offense intended. It is all in fun...well, kind of...




2 comments:

Annie said...

Oh my god - we are in a parallel universe. I can agree with you on ALL of those things!

Pink Poppy said...

Ditto here! I have a few I could add, but you did a great job summing it up for me as well...