Yes children, it is that time of year again. The time of year when I am reminded that I am going to straight to hell. Do not pass go. Do not even get a hand basket...
Why exactly is it that I am going to hell? Is it because I'm a murderer? Nope. Do I steal? Nope. Do I covert thy neighbor? Eww...
I don't break to many of the 10 commandments, but that's still not the reason why I am going to hell.
The reason, class, is because I participate in a sinister ritual. It is the utmost Evile on this planet.
Yes, I participate in Trick-or-Treating. Damn...
I work with a Christian. He a real! live! Promise Keeper and everything. Now don't get the wrong idea. I adore this man. He is a very good person, and we get along very well except for this time of year. I have no problem with people who practice what they preach, and he definitely does that. Except for Halloween....
He usually doesn't judge people (which the Bible tells you not to do by the way) except for Halloween. He must really find Halloween disturbing, since he never preaches or comments on anything else but Halloween.
I found this out the hard way last year when I put up a few Halloween decorations in my little cube at work. It's right next to his, and he didn't appreciate it.
It shocked the hell out of me when he started to preach to me about Satan and teaching children to worship the Devil blah blah blah blah blah....
When I was a child, Satan was the last thing on my mind when I went Trick-or-Treating. About the only thing I thought about was how in the world I would be able to hide the Snicker bars from my Father. Never once did I adequate Trick-or-Treating with the Devil, or hell even religion. It was about dressing up, running around at night, getting candy, and hiding said candy from my Father, even though he dressed up and Trick-or-Treated and had his own damn candy. This statement probably explains a lot about why I am a perpetual 5 year old. I get it honest.
I learned last year that it really is about going to hell.
This is a man that knows I was raised with what some would call Pagan beliefs. I guess it's ok because I am half Native American? He never says anything about that stuff, but damn don't get him started about Halloween...
He went into his big long speech again this year, as I thought blah blah blah in my head. I couldn't help but laugh, and this did not amuse him. He is dead serious about this Halloween stuff.
Why? Why does Halloween bug Christians so much? I just don't see the connection with the whole Devil worship crap, as most children don't even think about that.
In a time where kids are taught to be afraid of their own shadows, at least they have one night where they can go to their neighbors house without fear of God knows what.
Let me share a story with you all that I posted over at Mr. Netiquette. I took my niece to see my parents when she was about 6 or 7. My Parents live in Mississippi, which is definitely a different culture then here in Chicago.
We were walking on "main street", looking at the little shops. She ran over to a pop machine that gave out real! bottles. A man came over to her, bent down, and said "Hello there little one." She immediately started screaming "Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!" and came running over to me. I still wonder if that poor man has recovered from that little scene.
How can such a funny story be so sad?
Point being, at least one day a year kids can run around like the generations past were allowed to do. They have one night to be free of worry and rules and stranger dangers. One night where neighbors are just neighbors, no stranger dangers, no worries.
How can this be evil?