Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Proof that I've watched to much of the Olympics...

My niece is going to be a senior this year, and we went school clothes shopping last weekend...After some fevered buying we decided to get something to eat, and headed over to the local Olive Garden at the mall.

It was like 2:00 or something like that on a Sunday, so not many people were in the restaurant. They put us in the devil's den (smoking section) and there were only two other tables with people. They were a young couple that looked like they just got back from the beach, and a couple of middle aged soccer Moms.

We were enjoying our salad when all of a sudden the young dude gets down on one knee and proposes. It was very, very uncomfortable for my niece and I. The soccer Moms didn't look too much more comfortable then we were. If it would have been busy it would have been better, but the way it stood I felt like a Peeping Tom or something, invading one of their most special and private moments.

This of course didn't stop me from critiquing the proposal. The following is a conversation, almost word for word, my niece H and myself had when we were out of ear shot.

Myself: I really would give him a low score for creativity. Prolly like a 6.5

H: That's not fair, what if he can't afford a nicer place.

Myself: Life isn't fair. If you can afford to marry someone, you at least should be able to get them a better dinner then a create your own pizza.

H: True, I wouldn't want to remember the dinner I had as that. I'd still give him an 8 for the speech he gave her.

Myself: It was sweet and sincere. That's why he got all the way up to a 6.5

H: It was beautiful! How can you not give a higher rating for that?

Myself: Your only giving him a higher score because he's an American. I'm sure if he was Russian you'd score much lower.

H: Anyway..........What about the ring? I'm talking 9.5 there.

Myself: Ahhh, the innocent of a child.

H: I'm 18 now, I'm not a child.

Myself: As I said, the innocent of a child. Fairly nice sized rock. Doesn't look like an emotional attachment like a family ring. Kind of boring. 7.5

H: That's bull shhhh...crap

Myself: *stern look cuz I'm the aunt and supposed to show great moral fiber* Don't say shit in front of me...and it wasn't from Tiffany's.

H: You are knocking points off because it's not from Tiffany's???? You can't do that.

Myself: Yes I can, I'm the judge.

H: How do you know it didn't come from Tiffany's?

Myself: Their catalog of items is ingrained in my brain.

H: Snob.

Myself: and your point is?

H: I think there should be an emotional content category. There you surely must admit they deserve a 10.

Myself: She was shocked. She had no clue he was going to propose. He was sincere, and she did cry her eyes out. I'd give it a 9.

H: No way............

Myself: Yes way.........

H: How do you figure?

Myself: They would have got a 10 if HE would have cried too. The one time that I accepted a proposal he cried too.

H: He was a psycho.

Myself: Yeah, but he was a crying psycho which made it have greater emotional impact.

H: You should have gotten points deducted because you didn't marry him.

Myself: That could not be proven at the time, so it has no relevance to the competition.

Yeah, it's time for the Olympics to be over I'd say....

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