Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Die Joke Emails! Die!

Everyone has that one friend that just won't let up. That friend that forwards every damn email they get. The "If you are my friend you will send this to everyone and send it back to me!" emails. The jokes you have seen a million times with the dubious endings of how you will face certain death if you do not forward them to the 50 people in your address book.

My friend that does this is Ki. I've actually added her to my junk email list, so that all her emails go to the junk folder. I've actually TOLD her this. She just laughs. Hellooooooooo? Why do these people not see how annoying this is, especially since people tell them, "HEY this is ANNOYING??"

I haven't projectile vomitted today, but I'm still feeling a little woozy. I'm going into work a little bit later today, so I decided I better check my junk email folder. Every once in awhile she sends an actual email that I need to read.

She did actually send me an email that didn't contain any jokes, bunnies, hearts, patroit pictures, or funny pictures of animals or babies. She wanted to know what T, R and I are going to be for Halloween, and she promised she wouldn't tell anyone. Yeah, like I'd trust someone who would fill up my Inbox with pictures of Saddam Hussein riding a patroit missle on a daily basis. Halloween is very secret squirrel around these parts...

There was one in there that I had seen forwarded around by people, so I decided to take a look. It was a Q&A about yourself. I decided to answer it, but I took her off the forward list as I don't want to encourage her. Here, my 2 readers, are my answers:

1. What is your favorite color? Pink

2. If you could be an animal, what kind of animal would you be? A bird

3. Why would you be said animal? Flying south for the winter would rock, and I could crap on stupid people's cars.

4. Lefty or Righty? Amidextrious...Why oh why do people always forget about us?

5. Have you ever loved someone so much it made you cry? Go ahead, rub it in...

6. Paper or plastic? You mean the choice you get at that big building? With the carts and all the food?

7. If you were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would you bring? An army ranger, or some other form of special forces dude. They know how to do everything with that wilderness crap. Hey, I'm a realist.

8. What color is your kitchen? Yellow, and the day after I painted it I read an article that says yellow kitchens are known to lead people to suicide. Someone pass the Prozac, please.

9. Do you use an alarm clock? Depends. When I work days I have 3 of them. Not a morning person. Grrrowl.

10. Coffee, Cappuccino, or energy drink? I'd mainline anything with caffeine in it.

11. Favorite cereal? Pre-diabetic days Coco Pebbles or Captain Crunch. Now, anything that gives me the nutrients to support life, since all the fun cereals are a no-no.

12. Weirdest place you've had sex? A telephone booth. I was young and a lot of tequila, diamond earings, and a sexy man were involved.

13. How tall are you? 5'8

14. Do you wish you were taller/shorter? Nope

15. How many wireless devices do you have? <2 Cell phones, text pager, Palm Pilot. I know, I know...I'm way over accessorized, but half of those are for work.

16. Do you talk in your sleep. Constantly, or so I've been told. I never shut the fuck up.

17. First Kiss? At the top of a tornado slide. No wonder I have an unnatural dose of romanticsim or however the hell you spell it.

18. Do you ever sleep naked? Always

There were a lot more, but I'm sick and I'm getting tired of typing html tags. Reminds me to much of being at work. So there you go, more information, or too much information if you will, about me. Anyone care to answer these?


Tad Bitter said...

What I find even more annoying than the jokes are the ones claiming that Bill Gates or AOL or Disney or God is going to send you ten cents for every person that gets "this" email forwarded to them directly or indirectly compliments of "you." This is a scam that's been going around since the internet was freakin' invented. No one's been paid. What I find MOST annoying are the "wish" emails that say that if you don't forward this email to four hundred and twenty-seven people in the next fifteen seconds you're going to die! And since I'm somewhat superstitious, I friggin' forward them every time. Bastards!

kj4ever said...

You are preaching to the choir here Tadbitter...

I always found those ones that told the gloom and doom stories of people that did not forward the stupid email on...

Joe Blow received the email on Monday morning but deleted it. On his way to work, he was run over by a Mac truck. At the hospital, a doctor decided to check his prostate and he got the ever avoided finger test.

After he left his rental car blew up and he died a horrible death.

Then they always have the people who did forward it on, and they always got a proposal of marriage (this is a good thing?) or something like that. Sometimes I almost enjoy the damn things for these aspects of the emails.

Not that I think about it, no, I don't enjoy them. Not one bit.

Africanuck said...

KJ, Kathleen Turner/Lauren Bacall/Romy Schneider is what I get the most often. The first at 40 is probably the closest.