Monday, January 31, 2005

What The Fuck

What The Fuck is about the only thing I can think of to name this post.

I am so glad I am illiterate when it comes to most of the Television type pop-culture of today.

So I was heating up my lunch at work today, and the TV in the break room was on. This commercial was on for Halls Cough drops.

Towards the end it said something like, "Half the carbs of regular Halls!!" or no carbs, hell I can't remember as I was picking my chin up off the floor. They also said something about how you could now have Halls Cough drops and not worry about the carbs.

Ok, this is wrong on so many levels. It is wrong on every fucking level that there possible can be.

I mean give me a fucking break?? You have to be on like death's door to eat one of those things anyway. Dogs won't even eat them. I know they won't.

My Mom was like the freakin' cheerleader for the Halls Mentolyptus Corporation. One little cough and out came the purse, which always always always had Halls Cough Drops.

She'd force you to suck on one of these things, which was just horrible. Even the cherry ones tasted like ass. I'd always try and get the dog to eat them, and she never would. Considered the gross as stuff dogs will eat and/or lick, that isn't saying much for these things.

So pretty much you have to be hacking up a lung to put one of these things in your mouth. If you are that sick, are you going to wonder "Hmmm, I wonder how many carbs are in this thing?" Fuck no, you are just going to want to stop coughing.

How many carbs could possibly be in a Halls Cough Drop anyway??

It makes me wonder though....Does tylenol have carbs? What about my pain reliever of choice, Excedrine? When I have a headache, I don't care if it has 2,000 calories in it if it makes it just go the fuck away.

I'm so glad I never had to do Atkins. I'm so glad I don't watch TV very much.

I'm pretty sure that low carb Halls is one of the seven signs. We are all doomed...

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