Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Chat Shenanigans

I've talked about my love/hate relationship with the net before here at FFS I, but Rubber Dee Duckie (I know that's Rance's page but RDD is at the helm right now) inspired me over at Mindsay to tell you folks a bit about when I was a chat room admin.

It just doesn't get more fucked up then that-being a chat room admin.

Most people on the net know where you are. Not literally, like your address, but they know your puter address-your IP. This makes it rather humorous when people would go into the chat room and talk to their self.


Janet4u: Hi HotGuy69, how are you?

HotGuy69: I'm cool J. Are you still as hot as ever?

Janet4u: Oh stop it HotGuy69, I'm not that hot.

HotGuy69: Yes you are! You are the hottest girl I've ever seen.

Now I'd be sitting back fully aware that Janet4u and HotGuy69 were the exact same people.

You can't get this kind of entertainment anywhere.

One of my most favorite, favorite things that happened while I was working for them was this one couple who had just fell head over heels in love while chatting. They had never met in person, but made a huge deal about how meaningful their chats and phone conversations were.

They were finally going to meet, and the chat room held it's collective breath after hearing them profess their love over and over for a month.

The next morning, I had an email from the girl, we'll call her chatchick.

Dear kj,

Something needs to be done about chatguy. He is spreading vicious lies throughout the chat room, and he needs to be banned.

He said he was 6' tall and relatively decent looking. He's really 5'6 and bald.

You must put a stop to these lies.



Now as I was pondering the theory of love being blind, another email popped up in my inbox from chatguy.

Dear kj,

Chatchick deceived me and everyone in the chat room. Her picture she has looks nothing like her. She is at least 60 pounds bigger then that picture, but she describes herself as "curvy".

I think she should be banned for lying to everyone. We don't need that kind of shit in our chat room.

Thank you,


I swear to you all-I can't make shit up this good. I was sure they were playing a joke on me, but umm nope, they sure weren't. It proceeded to get real ugly as they went in chat and ripped each other apart and told each other's deep, dark secrets: He was bald and short, and she was fat.

You would have thought that any reasonably intelligent person would have realized her picture was from like 1985. She had big circle earrings on and a V-neck sweater with a tank top under it. If that wasn't enough, the big hair with wings and the fact that she looked 15 should have given it away.

But no, he was convinced that she looked like that, and she just believed what he said about himself.

God I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during that date.

I guess love is blind on the Internet, just not when you meet in person?

I've never understood the whole love thing by chatting. Maybe I'm cynical, I dunno. Maybe I've just seen too many chatchicks and chatguys that were so desperate for love they just went for it.

Now friends, I can see that. I've made many good friends from chatting, and through blogging. That is so different though.

I'm tired and it's been a long day, so I'm gonna cut this off here. Tomorrow I'll tell you all about my Internet Stalker.

Yes, he did stalk me on the net, always going in the chat room when I was there, trying to hack my puter, all that good stuff that net stalkers do. He also found me in real life just by small things I said in the room, which is scary as hell....

Until tomorrow...

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