Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Bad Hair Month

This totally cannot be. It is inconceivable.

My damn hair stylist had her baby 2 weeks early.

Where the hell does this leave me?

Without a hair stylist.

I heart my hair stylist. I really, really heart my hair stylist. She goes to seminars in New York and Paris to learn all the new tricks of the trade. She always makes sure that my hair is up to the minute fresh, and the color just right.

She's going to be off for 6 weeks.


Now for all you men out there that aren't quite getting this, think of my hair stylist as your remote control, and that you will not have your remote control for 6 weeks.

Now you might understand my panic.

I had it all planned out. I was going to get my "white" hair touched up this weekend, and get a real good cut that would last the 6 weeks she was off on maternity leave.

This kid is fucking pissing me off already...

You have to understand my relationship with my hair. I with all audacity and arrogance will say that I have like the best hair in the world.

It is wavy, so it can go curly or straight with relative ease. I don't even need hair spray for fuck's sake, and it is thick. I have enough hair for like 3 people. It just stays however I do it. My hair even looks awesome after a long night's sleep.

It's naturally blonde, heading towards the Marilyn Monroe blonde type as I uhh get older. My hair stylist professionally weaves three different colors to avoid me looking like some bad 80's hair band dude.

It has always looked good. When I was fat, it looked good. When I was a dorky looking little kid it looked good. People stop me on the street and say, "Damn your hair is beautiful."

I've went to the same hair stylist since 1997. I've had one person touch my hair since then, and the chick fucked it up.

I want my hair stylist back! We had a plan man...We're the same age, and were both single. She was a bit wilder then I, but we pledged buck the system and be wild and crazy single girls until we aged and became wild and crazy old cat ladies.

She then met this really cool guy, got married, got prego, and now has had said baby.

Oh the betrayal!

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