Thought for the day .......
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Unfortunately this one is kind of true? I will nevah! understand why people get breast implants. Nevah! The boobage is heavy, the boobage distracts from all other areas (like your face), and the boobage tends to make people see you as a sexual object with no brain.
Then again, I've had the boobage for quite awhile, and I might feel differently if I had no boobage.
There is one thing that they missed, and that is there will be a the large population of females that will have former back tattoos that are now down on their ass...lol
I also got this one from another friend:
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flie! s and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another"
--George Bush, US President
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Ok, so I know this post blows, and that I'm coping some stupid chain email again. Work has been absolutely crazy this week, crazier then normal, which is bad. I've been coming home and just crashing instead of putting up the blog posts I wrote on my break at work, which would be awful hard to do since I haven't got a break at work this week.
Hopefully I'll return this weekend with an absolutely wonderful post about some insane thing I have done in my lifetime....Stay tuned...
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