Friday, November 05, 2004

To Date or Not To Date Part Dos

Ok, so one post wasn't enough on this topic.

Commenter MaxedOutMama made a fine point by asking:

Why don't you ask the geeks you like out? If you're attractive, they're probably not even thinking they should give it a shot. A lot of women think geeks are boring, and most of them know that.

Dude. I so can not ask a guy out.

I know what you guys are thinking. I'm the outgoing person, and I am, except for that.

I have no man radar. I'm clueless when it comes to if a guy likes me or not. After spending years working with 3,000 of them, you'd think I'd know them pretty well, eh?

Truth of the matter is I don't. I have so many friends that are guys and work with so many that I always just assume they want to be my friend, because that is what most of the men in my life are.

I asked a guy out once, and I almost needed valium for a week afterwards. He said yes, but I practically had a panic attack while I was asking.

How do you men do it? I am so extroverted, you would think it would be easy.

I would be so screwed if I were a man.

Really, the worse that can happen is they say no. Well, really the worse is your ego will be pounded into the dirt, and you'll feel like an ass every time you are around them.

I have asked people out on accident, and it went well. They thought I was asking them out, but I was really just like, "Hey dude, let's do this," in a friend kind of way. When they kissed me at the end of the night my clueless ass was like, "oh!"


My last relationship actually started that way. He said he had always wanted to learn how to play craps. I was like, "Let's go Saturday, I'll show you." He took this as me asking him out, I took it as cool I get to go play craps.

He didn't technically fall into the "geek" category, but I don't know if "geek" is a good description of my type. Intelligent. That's probably better. Someone that will challenge my mind.

Looks are just icing on the cake for me, as I could really care less. Someone that starts a good conversation gets my motor running way more then someone who is just good looking. I'd get bored with that real fast.

I'm doomed. I'm doomed to be a bad boy tamer for the rest of my life.

Better yet, maybe I'll just get one more of these:

and become a crazy cat lady!


Rachel said...

The last time I asked a guy out on a date, I was in high school. I asked him to go to a dance with me and he said yes, but I almost had a stroke while I was asking him.

Rich Rosenthal II said...

Need at least fixe or six cats to do up a proper start to crazy cat lady.

Annie said...

Well you could always switch teams. Ha Ha...

Jay said...

Geek? Did I hear my name being called?

We're terrified of attractive women. You knew that right? Bad boy isn't, but you already knew that.

If you don't want to ask them out, it will require some sort of match maker to convince them to ask you out. Maybe a mutual friend or acquaintance? If the guy has it on some authority that you were asking all sorts of questions about him either he thinks his mother sent you to spy or you could, remotely, but just possibly, be interested.

Geek Credentials:
99+ percentile SAT math score
99+ percentile SAT verbal score (go figure)
Career built on measuring things
My take on 200 things

Unknown said...

Rich, if that is true, then I might as well forget about the crazy cat lady thing.

Jay, thanks for the insider info...

Yam said...

Hail crazy cat lady! ::bow:: lol :)

Jay said...

Thanks for your blog KJ4EVER. Hearing that you like somewhat geeky guys reminds me of my strengths. I'm gonna remind my dear wife too. Recently I've been thinking that I was supposed to do the macho thing and that's really not me.


rws said...

My two cents: It's great when women get up the courage to ask men out -- they not only get an understanding of how it might feel to a male in that position, but they're giving the guy a compliment. And the guy's reaction to being asked out reveals a lot about whether he might be a person worth getting to know (likewise with a woman's reaction to being asked out).

Plus, if a woman is looking for more equality in a relationship, making moves like this can set a tone, one a guy might respond to in ways you'll like. (And again, how he responds reveals a lot about him.)

I've been asked out by a bunch of women during the last ten or so years, and whether or not we went out I've always appreciated that they took the risk, and have let them know it.

The Bard Sinister said...

My personal experience matches that of runs, above. I pretty much always consider it a compliment when asked for an actual date, even if I am not interested. Personally, I also consider a movie a bad first date experience, unless you already know the person well. Make it an activity, where you can actually talk to each other.

MaxedOutMama said...

Okay, it's poor concerned MaxedOutMama again. I recommend having all the cats you want but still asking the guys out.

You don't have to just jump in, you know. You could start by telling the guy in conversation something like, "gee, you're really interesting" and move on from there?

I understand how rough it is to ask guys out, but you could always make it more a friend-like thing. All those bad-boy taming skills have other uses, you know. And the geeks are more worth-while. Here's your chance to take some of the risks diabetes deprived you of!