Grumpy Old Man

Warning: This post contains a high amount of profanity. Like way more profanity then usual. Really, I swear.

The one really good thing about being stuck on this horrid shift (5:30 pm - 5:30 am) is I am back with my boss, who I affectionately call the Grumpy Old Man.

He's an old Irish Bastard that has built cars for 45 years. The only time he hasn't been here is when he served 2 tours in Vietnam. He doesn't know the meaning of "PC", and I heart him.

I first met the Grumpy Old Man when I became an administrator on afternoon shift 3 years ago. The head chief of Quality took me to him for introductions, as GOM is the head of all things Quality on afternoons. There are 5 people on days that do what he does by himself on afternoons.

GOM slowly looked me up and down and sized me up. "Well well, what do we have here? It's Autoworker Barbie. I knew the bitch could do anything, and you better be able to also."

What.the.fuck?

We are incredibly PC. Over the edge PC since the Mothership was sued to the gills in the mid 90's. This was a very different experience for me.

So I trained for 2 weeks with someone that didn't know shit. Thankfully I already knew a lot about computers, and after about 3 days I knew more then the current admin, who was retiring.

He retired, and I was on my own. I had been on the job about 2 and a 1/2 weeks when I had my first big break down. We weren't selling cars, which anyone who works in a factory will tell you this is a very, very bad thing. My system was the holdup.

GOM was about to flip his gord. He started screaming about money and time and did I know what the fuck I was doing? I stopped, turned to him and said, "Shut the fuck up and let me do my job you fucking Grumpy Old Man."

He walked away, and I fixed the problem. Later that night he came up to me and said, "I figured you were doing some boss and that's how you got the job. You know your shit. You'll be alright here kiddo."

For some odd reason, I took this as a compliment. Once I stood up for myself, he never messed with me again. Oh, I've been screamed at plenty of times, but I realize it is more screaming at frustration then at me.

Why doesn't anyone turn him in for these actions? I get a call from the PC Police at least once a week because of my smart ass mouth. I'll tell you a little story about why no one turns Mr. GOM in...

GOM is at the very end of the plant, where the cars are inspected and go out the door to be shipped to wherever. The section before that is Chassis.

The Chassis management type person and I didn't get along. At all. My system tattled on every bad thing he did, and he took it personally, even though I was just doing my job. He looked for anything he could to say something negative to me.

One day he came up to me and said I committed a safety violation, which I didn't. I tried to explain what I was doing, and he just went off on me.

I slowly walked to the inspection area counting to 10. I would keep myself in check, keep it in control.

GOM must have seen the murder in my eyes, and asked what happened. I told him, and he just said "I'll take care of it."

It would take to long to explain, but he did something that caused the management type person to be in deep shit. He'd need an awful big shovel to dig himself out of it to, I might add.

Management type person came running over screaming, "What the hell is going on? Why are all these coming back?" GOM pointed to me.

"You fuck with my people, I fuck with you. The difference is, I have more stripes and I will fuck you back harder. I will fuck you so hard that your great great Grandmother will be screaming OH YES! from her grave."

The management type person stood there shocked as hell. "You can't talk to me like that!" he said. "I didn't hear anything wrong, did you Blondie?" GOM asked me. "Nope, all I heard was you asking him to please not disrespect his people." I then gave management type person a big, cheesy smile.

He will take the heat for his people every time. His unfailing loyalty is returned by everyone that works for him. Now maybe his techniques are a bit old school and out of date, but they sure do work.

Now we he bellows "Blondie!" or "Barbie!" or "I don't-want-to-grow-up-I'm-a-Toys-R-us-kid!" yes, he calls me this sometimes and I don't know why. *looks innocent* I smile instead of thinking "What the fuck?" and say "Yes Grumpy Old Man, how can I be of assistance to you?"