Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Sexiest Man Alive

It is that time of year again. The time of year that I anticipate with glee.

Christmas? No. Thanksgiving? No. My birthday? No.

It would have to be the arrival of my Christmas presents from the UPS man.

Not the Christmas present part, the UPS man part.

You see, UPS seems to have a swim suit competition when they hire their drivers. I'm pretty sure they have to submit an 8 X 10 glossy to get the job.

UPS men are.always.hot.

I was at the hospital with my Sister today, as she had her tonsils out. While in the waiting room, I picked up a copy of People and saw that Jude Law is the "Sexiest Man Alive." Bullshit. My UPS man is the sexiest man alive. I wrote up some notes on that issue, which shall be posted tomorrow. Those people at "People" just don't know the good quality men in this world...

Being a busy and Internet savvy person, I order many of my presents online. I am now free of my self-imposed grounding from overstock.com so that I can wrap up my Christmas shopping.

This means visits from my favorite UPS man. He is tall, probably around 6'2. He has dark brown hair and eyes, and one of those smiles that makes my knees turn to jelly.

Just about every woman I know has a UPS man story. My best friend R can't even talk around her UPS man.

When I ordered from Dell my puter was shipped via Fed Ex. What a freaking disappointment. At first I thought it was a man, but it turned out to be a really ugly woman.

So I always make sure I check "UPS Ground" for packages, and anxiously await their arrival.

What's your UPS man like? Are you a UPS man? Do you know someone that is a UPS man? Do they have to do a Chip-n-dale dance to get the job? I just wanna know how the hell they get so many good looking men to do their deliveries...

12 comments:

rancette said...

Dang! All this time I've been getting packages from FedEx. I had no idea what I was missing. Next time I'll order from UPS ;)

princessr9 said...

I'm related to a UPS man, sort of. He's my husband's cousin, but he's adopted, so that allows me to be able to say that DAMN! He is Hot! Cause we're not actually blood related or anything and I actually went to high school with him, so I knew him before I knew my husband. And in a totally unrelated (no pun intended) UPS man story, we had a UPS man here at work for a while that was so incredibly hot I couldn't talk. He came in and I open my mouth to say hi and couldn't. I don't know what happened. Unfortunately our distributor started shipping with Fed Ex a couple months later. What a shame. I would be smiling for at least an hour after Chris, yes I knew his name delivered a package. In fact, I'm smiling now.

Pink Poppy said...

Hey K! My UPS guy is VERY sweet, but not so cute. Cute in sort of a dorky way, maybe, but not in a "Legally Blonde", "Bend and Snap" sort of way. Good thing, really, since Hubby's office is four feet from the door. Dangit....

Happy Thanksgiving!

Paula said...

My UPS guy isn't *that* hot, but he's hotter than Jude Law, who leaves me blah. Your blog layout rocks, BTW. First time visitor here from BlogExplosion.

kj4ever said...

Hey Princess. Could you ask your hubby's cousin if he had to go through a swim suit competition to get his job? My UPS man's name is Dave. Daaaaave.

Poppy, I am sorry you are UPS man challenged. Oh well, with your husband sitting that close to the door a really hot UPS man would be a total waste of drool.

Welcome to the nut house Paula.

princessr9 said...

Next time I see Ron I'll ask about the swimsuit competition.

Lisa said...

AH...The UPS man! I used to have a direct sales business and it gave me many a chance to meet my ever-friendly man in brown! My UPS man back in CA was YUMMY, seriously yummy! Since I've moved to AZ I've been UPS man challanged. Not so good.

You brighten my day KJ! Thanks for the giggle

MR Hester said...

Damn, I'm gonna have to start checking UPS on my delivery option.

I was kinda going Huh? about the Jude Law thangie. I don't even think that he is cute, let alone sexy - pleeeeeeeaze.

Anonymous said...

I used to deliver for UPS. The craziest thing on the job that ever happened to me was when I made a delivery, and the "secretary" who opened the door was a 4 foot 7 lady in a g-string and tassels on her nipples. "We've been waiting all day for you," she said and opened the door. Inside were a bunch of her friends, all of them short and similarly dressed, having an office party. I was on the job, so I couldn't stay for too long, but ever since, I always thought it was kind of weird how people (especially fags, it seems) get off on UPS guys. Anyway, I was fired. I guess I wasn't cute anymore. Now I live in HK and post on www.ranhasa.com . Found you through blog explosion, your site's HILARIOUS.

Penny said...

I walked, smiling, straight into a plate glass window, missing the door completely, the last time I saw a UPS hottie. Umm.. yeah.. UPS must have a policy on the scr*wability-factor, like Major 4-star restaurant chains have with waitresses. They should have a calendar, for sure. Competition for Firemen.. I feel like ordering a complete christmas village, one tiny figurine at a time.

Jeramey said...

I'm not so sure about this UPS g-string story, it makes me wonder. However, I do like this post, it's good stuff. Bookmarking it for later to post on my blog.

The Bard Sinister said...

UPS men have it all over the Fed Ex guys. My current UPS guy is an absolute hottie. I'll ask him about the Chippendales thing next time I see him.