There are just a few things out there that make me actually want to vomit. I usually do everything in my power not to throw up, from downing Pepto to promising God I'll be a very good girl if He just gets me through this random stomach problem.
The number one reason why I would actually want to herck all over my shoes happened last night. You see, I work in what could be described as it's own little city. When you have 3000+ people working together, you can get everything from a new TV to drugs, right at work.
You also can find love.
Now I've only been that stupid once, but he was so cute and a drummer in a band and really tall. Hell I didn't even know that we worked together when we first met, as it is hard to know all 3000 people. Thankfully it didn't turn into a bad experience like so many others have, but usually it goes terribly wrong.
Think about it. Most of these people work on an assembly line. They are STUCK next to each other all day, every day.
So you'll see a hook-up happen. It's easy to tell, because as I saw last night when I wanted to vomit on my Nikes they act like kids in high school again.
The happy new couple last night was walking out of the plant holding hands. Now I'm not talking about people in their early 20's. I'm talking about people in their mid to late 30's.
People where I work usually don't stay married long......
I've never been the hand holding PDA type. Not that I've never held someone's hand, or am opposed to holding someone's hand, but these people need to hold on to the other for dear life at any moment where each other's hand is free. They act as though they haven't seen each other in days but have been working right next to each other all day.
My foray into dating work people went a bit like this. Do not look at me, do not touch me, and for fuck's sake do not tell anyone we are together. The one thing that I have learned from working in an environment that has more men then women is that men put women to shame when it comes to gossip. I mean to shame.
I saw them at lunch that day, feeding each other, holding hands, looking all in love. It usually happens real quick like, one day they are visiting each other's jobs the next they are having vomit inducing public displays of affection.
I know what is going to happen next. They will stay this way for awhile, but it'll burn out quick. One will get tired of the hanging on, of the being around each other 24 hours a day. As the one tries to pull away the other will pull closer, causing fights that while amusing to an extent can be rather uncomfortable for their co-workers to witness.
Then they'll break up.
Then they'll have to look at each other for the next 20 or so years.
I know when I see The Rocker at work it can be a bit uncomfortable, and we were smart about the whole thing. We've pretty much remained friendly, but it's still like Oh G Damn when I see him sometimes.
Imagine if I had practically had sex with him in front of 3000 people and professed my undying love.
Then there will be the one trying to make the other jealous with some new PDA with a new person. Sometimes it works, leaving the new PDA person out in the cold. Sometimes it doesn't, but will cause a couple of good behind the bleachers type fights.
So I'll watch the ensuing drama, without having much choice in the matter. I'll try and control my gag reflex as I see them fall in and out of love. I'll try and not vomit when the big break up happens, the big make up, and the finding someone new.
I'll try, I promise, but vomiting would make me feel so much better, like when you've drank too much and you know it's coming but would be doing a lot better if you just went ahead and got it over with.
Yeah, something like that.