The DMV

I changed my pic here at FFS. I had to get my driver's license renewed, and I was on a mission from God to get a good pic this time.



Not to shabby, eh?

So anyway, I got up early, bound and determined not to look like I had just left a three day crack binge like my last picture. It was so bad that when I would get carded people would ask, "Is that really you?"

Yes, it was bad, very bad.

Now I know that most people do not like their driver's license photo. It isn't like you are visiting Glamour Shots when you go to get it taken, but still. My last picture came out of a panic when a friend informed me that if you license expires for too long they make you take the written test again in Indiana.

Fuck, I know I'd fail. When they ask what yellow means do you think they have an answer that says, "Go like hell it's fixin' to turn red?"

So after a night of debauchery I got up a bit late. The DMV was closing in like a half hour, so I put my hair in a ponytail and drove like a woman possessed to the DMV.

It wasn't until they handed me my license that I realized I still had eye make-up on one eye, and a bit under my eye, and a bit to the side of my eye.

Just one eye mind you, the other was perfectly fresh. You couldn't really tell if I had been beaten up or just forgot to do the other eye.

Terrible I tell you, terrible. The DMV Nazi informed me that they only retake pictures if it's blurry. I begged. I pleaded.

Denied.

So I've thought about losing my license over the last three years. The only problem with that is it's a total pain in the ass to get a new one and prove who you are. I never rousted up the energy to do it, so I had my Crack Addict Picture for the last three years.

Perhaps I don't look a lot younger then my age at all. Perhaps I've just been carded all these years because The Fates were bored and wanted to see me groan and squirm everytime someone asked for an I.D.

I better get carded now that I have said goodbye to the Crack Addict. Damn you fate, I swear I better....