Tuesday, January 17, 2006

My Own Personal Cocaine

Ok, so I've never been a real big watcher of Television. While I puffy heart movies to death, TV just never really held my interest.

I mean, there are shows that if they are on I'll watch them because they are funny and/or interesting. I'm just so busy that I've never really got into watching most of the pop culture phenomenons that people rave about. I just saw "Friends" for the first time a little bit ago. It was cute.

Then it happened. I totally blame Spike TV for my new addiction.


You see, Spike TV shows CSI two times a day. While I was off work at Christmas time I was bored and laying on the couch, channel surfing. I hit CSI just as it was starting.

I've become a full blown junkie since that fateful day. The advent of TIVO has allowed me to record every single episode that comes on my 300 and some odd channels that I have with satellite. Since I work afternoons I would miss most if not all of them, but my handy dandy TIVO makes sure there are at least two episodes waiting for me every day when I get off work.

I'm not a big fan of the whole cop show/shoot 'em up kind of shows. Don't really care for all the legal/doctor dramas out there either, and I never have. But CSI....

C.S.I. *sighs*

Not any old CSI mind you, but the Las Vegas version. My lovely TIVO was set to record any CSI's, and some imposter CSI's showed up with that creepy David Caruso and someone whom I usually love, Gary Sinise.

I had to stop that shit and just get my beloved Las Vegas CSI shows. Las Vegas is the Cocaine to the cheap imitations composed of crack that are New York and Miami.

I'm sure that crack might come in handy when the Coke runs out, but until it does I'm only snorting the good shit, thankyouverymuch.

At first two shows a day were fine at, my fix complete.

But like any Coke head worth their salt, I just couldn't get enough. I needed more. I wanted more. I HAD TO HAVE MORE.

So my brother causally mentions that he has season 1 on DVD.

23 episodes of coke-fueled fun. I can have as much as I want, when I want. No time schedules, no waiting. I can snort the Coke that is CSI whenever I want.

So I borrowed it, and thanks to the greatness that is Martin Luther King Jr. I had a long weekend. It would have been cut short as I had to work Saturday, but I still got my two days off since Monday was a holiday.

I even thought of sneaking the DVD's to work Saturday because I just couldn't wait to see where it all started.

Junkie, indeed.

I managed to control myself and actually go to work without my drug of choice, and returned home at about 4:00 am Sunday morning. This is when my two day bender with my own personal coke began.

I could just watch one of them before going to sleep, right? I had two days for my CSI debauchery, no need to over do it when I had just come off a 12 hour shift.

Fat fucking chance.

So I stayed up until about 10 am watching the first DVD with the first four shows. I debated putting in the second disk, but knew I had better get some sleep. I took a short nap, a couple of hours, and then proceeded to watch disk two.

In the mean time, people like C are calling because they know I'm off the next day. Like the coke head I have become I ignore friends and family just to get my fix.

My God am I going to get some awful search hits off this one. I apologize in advance to any of you real coke heads looking for information. Here's a bit of advice: That shit will kill you get help.

Anyway, so I'm ignoring friends and family, watching my new love CSI practically non-stop with short naps in between disks. Every time that Who song comes on at the beginning I want to jump on my couch with the three finger salute, and I fucking hate The Who.

Counting for commercials, which aren't present on the DVD thank God I figure I have about 18 hours of coke in a box. I had done snorted all my coke by 1 pm on Monday, first season complete.

I then proceeded to go to the video store and rent the first disk of #2.

I think I have a problem, and I full well plan on going out and buying all five seasons of CSI, and soon.

When those run out perhaps I'll give Miami or NY a try, but I doubt it. It would feel too much like cheating on my beloved Gil and Co.

My God I need help....

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