Thursday, January 11, 2007

Electronically Over-accessorized

So every thing I log into blogger it taunts me with the whole "Your new version of Blogger is ready!"

Like it's saying, "Hey dumb ass, upgrade to the better version already!"

I'm fucking tired of better versions of electronic type things.

Lately I have been yearning for the days of yesterday, days when I could leave my house, and no one could get a hold of me.

Yeah, I had a pager, and starting in the early 90's I have had a cell phone, but unless it had a 911 attached to it no one really cared if you didn't answer a page right away and the price of a cell phone call was like calling the moon or something. I remember paying $50 a month for 75 minutes of talk time. Date myself much?

Today I have a text pager, not one but two cell phones, and a two-way radio that I must keep on at all times at work. It's like all these electronic leashes wrapped around me.

I fucking hate it.

The whole downfall of this electronic revolution started with the whole Pagers! They're not just for drug dealers anymore! Phenomenon. Now before I said that unless you put 911 after your number no one really cared if you answered back right away.

Then everyone started putting 911 after their number. Like all the time. It would be like calling an ambulance when you stubbed your toe, FFS.

My old pager from yesteryear is probably still at the bottom of the Chicago River. Where I threw it. After my crazy ass ex paged me one time to many. At least it has good company, with Dave Matthew's feces settling around it by now.

I heart Dave Matthew's, and I don't even rock the ganja......Well....Anymore...

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so people started abusing the pager thingy waaaay too much, and it was the beginning of the end. Then people started getting cell phones, and things have just gone horribly awry since all these cheap ass phone plans have come out.

People get terribly upset with me. I actually shut my cell phone off. Nothing annoys the crap out of me more then when someone is standing in line at a store talking their whole personal life for everyone to hear and the cashier is trying to get their damn money so they can get the fuck out of my way.

God that's rude. I can imagine how much cashier, servers, bank tellers, and the like hate cell phones. I bet they hate them almost as much as me.

So when I'm grocery shopping or in a restaurant or driving in my fucking car I am sure there isn't anything that is soooooo important that people must get a hold of me right! now!

But they sure act like they do. "Your cell phone was off again" or "Why didn't you answer your cell phone" are questions I hear on a daily basis.

Because I fucking turned it off or was fucking busy or I fucking didn't want to talk to anybody right at that particular moment, ok?

Then they get all hurt or mad or indignant because I waited a half hour to call them back. Like if I am eating in a restaurant with someone, I am sure as hell not going to answer my phone, and when people do it when they are with me I think it is rude as hell.

Yes, rude! as! hell! all you cell phone addicts. There is a person right in front of you to talk to, so talk to them. Enjoy your meal. Cut the electronic cord for one hour. You might just like it.

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