Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Eharmony Hates Fat People

Well maybe they don't hate them, but they figure other people do.

Let me explain this, k?

Back in December I told you about my worst birthday present ever, a 3 month subscription to Eharmony. Not only was it the worst birthday present ever, but the biggest waste of money ever.

Now keep in mind that I pretty much thought of this whole thing as a joke. I really had no intention of meeting someone from an online dating community, not that there is anything wrong with that. After reading a few of my potential men I figured this place knew nothing about what I wanted.

Practically every match I got was a yuppie from downtown Chi town. They all have the same three pics. The one of them skiing. The one of them walking on the beach next to Lake Michigan. Oh, and my most favorite one? The one of them in spandex riding their bike or running.

Let me make this clear, mmmkay? I would never date a man that wears spandex. Maybe that is small minded of me, but hey, a girl has to have her limits.

The other thing I have noticed is a disturbing trend in the can't have/must have section. You get a bunch of canned answers to chose from. Like must have an active person. Can't stand a person who's happiness depends on me. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Every single person I was matched with had Can't Stand Overweight People.

To be honest, this kind of offends me, in a split personality kind of way. I know it doesn't mean that they really can't stand overweight people, just that they don't want to date them.

Which seems really small minded to me, especially since I am a former tank ass.

Now the other side of my personality says, "Hey, people can't help what they are attracted to. They are just looking for someone that fits physically and emotionally."

Yeah fucking right.

So I decided that maybe I would change my can't stand/must haves after my latest match. Of course he had the pre-requisite no fat people one, and a bunch about how he must have someone who is sexually experienced. Oh, and must have someone who really really likes sex.

Now looking at this guy, he is no one I would be attracted to. He is tall which is a plus, but skinny as hell. His prerequisite beach picture also had one of those little Paris Hilton annoying as fuck dogs in it.

I am not a little dog person. But hey, I have an open mind, right?

Anyway I decide that if these fucking arrogant men that only want a skinny chick can put that, I'm gonna change mine to reflect that I don't want some bone skinny guy.

Guess what? There is no choice for that. Appearance wise you can chose fat. That's it.

So why they hell can't I pick that I don't want someone skinny if they can pick they don't want someone that is fat? Now I'm usually not one of those fatcentric type people but this really seems like a double standard. You can't even write it in.

Oh well, thanks for the memories Eharmony. My "gift" is about to run out, and if my friend extends it he is in a world of hurt.

No comments: