Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Eharmony Mind Control

So yesterday I told you how I would post the five multiple questions that I can send to these people at Eharmony.

All ten people that requested communication answer my five non-descript multiple choice questions almost identical.

My Questions are:

How often do you lose your temper?

A. Practically never
B. Once in awhile
C. On occasion during a week
D. Probably once a day on average

By some wild coincidence not one of ten people lose their temper!! If I answered that it would probably D, but I work in IT now and deal with idjits on a daily basis, FFS!

Next Q:

If you went out to eat with a friend, which would you prefer?

A. A nice 4-star restaurant
B. A basic Steakhouse
C. An undiscovered hideaway
D. A hole in the wall with great food

Miraculously they all chose to write in the answer with sometime of to the affect that it depends on who they are with. Fuck depending on who you are with. Give me a hole in the wall with great food any day.

Next Q:

Which of the following things would you rather have lots of?

A. Respect
B. Fame
C. Money
D. Power

Another write in deal where they all said "Love". Altogether now...Awwwwwwwww!

Next Q:

Your idea of adventure is:

A. Whitewater Rafting
B. Karaoke singing
C. Trying a different route to work
D. Ordering a dish you've never tried before

We have a bunch of whitewater rafters in our midst. If ever there was a write in question, this is it folks.

Last Q:

Which of the following scenarios would make you more nervous?

A: Making a presentation to 500 people
B. A long car ride with someone you just met
C. Talking about your deepest fears with your lover
D. Meeting with the president of the company you work for

I sincerely hope none of them meet the president of their company. To me, that would be/was the easiest, as I've done all of these things and didn't find any of them particularity nerve racking.

Personality matching my ass.

So after you send these things and they send them to you there is a list of Must Haves/Can't Stands that you send each other.

There is one thing about this that really kinda of freaked my shit out.

One of the Can't stands that seems to be on all their lists is: Poor Hygiene...... I can't stand someone who is not clean.

What the fuck kind of women have they been dating? I mean, you have a billion things to chose from, and they think this is a necessity to say?

This starts to worry me, because I sure as hell did not pick that one because I thought for sure that Good Hygiene would be an unspoken Must have, alright? I mean in the can't stand category there are lots of good things like people that hold grudges or bad tempers or materialistic or mean spirited or no cheaters. All of these and they choose Poor Hygiene?

Am I doomed to date the smelly kid from seventh grade that made your eyes water, or what?

Eharmony sucks ass. If you ask me, it is a bunch of people telling a bunch of other people exactly what they think they want to hear.

It's just like I said yesterday, it's like going to a bar and meeting some loser with lines without the free drink.

At least you get free alcohol in scenario #2, and I loves me some free alcohol.

Granted, since this was a gift it wasn't something I thought of trying to begin with, and not something that I really would take all that seriously. Perhaps I'm being to hard on these guys who are "Ready to find the love of their lives", but hell I'm hard on the real life ones, why not the Internet ones?

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