Wednesday, September 06, 2006


So last weekend, after a long couple of weeks, a few of my bestest girlfriends came over to celebrate the fact that I was finally getting my house back after all that construction.

One of my friends ~D~ brought up the fact that her little sister, who is 30, told her that at 35 ~D~ is now certifiabley old.

Pfffffft. Whatevah!

So we reminded her that while her sister maybe 5 years younger then her, she also has the wrinkles of someone 10 years older then us, with all the sunbathing she's done in her lifetime. We also reminded her that little sis hasn't exactly hit the treadmill in awhile either, if you know what I mean.

Ok, so maybe we were being catty and just a wee bit mean, but we need to perk up ~D~'s spirits because if she is certifiabley old, that means we are too.

We can't have that.

I'm pretty much convinced little sis's attack came from the fact that we all went out a few weekends ago and us geriatrics scored far more free drinks then the spring chicken. In fact, I don't think spring chicken scored one drink.

They say the best form of flattery is jealousy, no?

Our attempts to make her feel better led to a discussion on plastic surgery. Now looking at all of us, I wouldn't say that any of us were even close to needing it. I think acting immature for so long has helped us stay young looking or something. That, or we have just plain embalmed ourselves with alcohol over the years.

I mean I was upset last year when this guy thought I was I guess it had to happen some day, me looking over that 25 year mark. I still get carded for cigarettes, so I'm not too worried.

Anyway, so everyone started discussing what they would get done if plastic surgery was free and had no pain involved whatsoever.

One of my friends wanted bigger lips, another wanted a breast reduction, one wanted implants, one wanted lipo....

Then the eyes turned to me. I'm pretty happy with my body right now, the girls are thankfully still in the upright and locked position. I already have full lips that are big but not too big....

So what would I do? What would I change?

My nose. It would have to be my nose.

You see, I am a bit paranoid about my nose, and people think I am cRaZy. It's one of those little button noses you see on Barbie Dolls. I think you can kind of tell if you click my pic to go to the profile and view full size. There are no lumps or bumps. It's very petite.

So why would I want to change my nose? It's all my Dad's fault. When I was a little girl and it was raining he always used to say, "Don't go outside or you'll drown!"

I've always hated my nose, even though the more sensible side of me tells me that is like the skinny chick saying "I'm soooooooooooooo fat."

So of course saying my nose was met with groans and boos from the crowd. It really makes you think though, about what affect parents have on their little kid's vision of theirself.

My Dad was just kidding me, and he has made me paranoid about my nose for the rest of my life. Paranoid about a nose that I know most people with more "distinct" noses would kill for.....

Thank God that's all I had to deal with, eh? I can't imagine being one of those kids whose parents tell them they are fat or stupid.

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