Our neighborhood eyesore (eyesoar? eh, fuck it) isn't the normal eye sore. It isn't someone who leaves abandoned cars in their front yard. It isn't someone who does mow their yard. It isn't even some weird cat lady that has decorated her house in Cambell's soup labels.
Our neighborhood eye sore shows up around the first nice day of the year and ends when it becomes jacket weather.
Yes, our neighborhood eye sore is a 350 pound man who thinks he is just sooooooooo sexy.
He wears these little short-shorts which were probably popular when he was a teenager-I'm guessing the 70's, since he is around 50 years old now. Of course these atrocious shorts are not adorned with any other piece of clothing.
He also retired last year, and works in his yard constantly. He gives off that dirty old man vibe-like he is staring at your breasts the entire time you talk to him.
This man really thinks he's hot, even with his beer belly that pretty much covers the entire front of his 70's short shorts. I just looked outside and I believe I'm going to be blind for a couple of minutes, as he was bending over putting some elaborate flag decoration up in his yard.
God, please get me through this summer...
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