tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72993292024-03-07T02:07:49.740-06:00FFSDealing with the world's stupid people, one idiot at a time...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.comBlogger325125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-45331431664405269762014-06-05T11:12:00.002-05:002014-06-05T11:12:22.227-05:00Anybody Out There?Soooo.....It has been forever since I wrote a blog post. I still get traffic here which is pretty incredible. Is there really anybody out there?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-90066599508021080192007-12-14T03:34:00.000-06:002007-12-14T03:38:59.358-06:00License to be a ParentI really believe that they should issue licenses for people to become parents.<br /><br />If you think that I'm wrong, or that I'm some kind of freak for thinking that, I'd like to plead my case.<br /><br />I've been busy and haven't been able to blog much, but I remembered something I wanted to blog about last year.<br /><br />The end all be all of the worst Christmas presents !ever!<br /><br />A friend of mine, who has been overweight since birth, received a brand new wardrobe from her size 2 Mother last year.<br /><br />Very thoughtful, incredibly cool, right?<br /><br />Wrong. It was all 4 sizes to small. Yes, the whole shabang. I'm talking work clothes, dressy clothes, club clothes, the woman must have spent a small fortune.<br /><br />And my friend couldn't wear a single stitch of it.<br /><br />When she asked her Mother why it was all to small, she just replied, "Well maybe NOW you'll lose weight!"<br /><br />Yes, parents should have to get a license to have children, yes indeed.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-90120253371656662412007-11-15T03:57:00.000-06:002007-11-15T04:00:45.376-06:00It's the End of the WorldI'm pretty sure this is a sign of <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/od_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat;_ylt=AhC5J4.BjpNt_TNP2zzCK5qs0NUE" border="_blank">the appocolypse</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-18595604204605596242007-07-24T10:48:00.001-05:002007-07-24T10:48:28.948-05:00UhhhSo I am like the worst.blogger.ever.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1170918778563914502007-02-08T01:09:00.000-06:002007-02-08T01:12:58.606-06:00PoundedSo we here in Chicago have taken quite a beating since that joke of a game Sunday.<br /><br />First, we played like Pop Warner players in their first year at the Super Bowl, FFS, and then we got pounded with snow.<br /><br />I fucking hate snow. I'm really kind of getting used to this global warming stuff, and I am not as used to this fluffy white stuff as I was growing up.<br /><br />Here's one member of my family who was very grateful for the snow:<br /><br /><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/179/383473008_a0aee90047_m.jpg"><br /><br />Ah yes, my "little" puppy who almost weighs as much as I do now. I need to start lifting weights or sumfin.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1169830935892745332007-01-26T10:51:00.000-06:002007-01-26T11:02:15.933-06:00Gay RehabSo does anyone know what exactly gay rehab is?<br /><br />McPsychobigot has went to gay rehab to atone for his sins.<br /><br />What do they do exactly in gay rehab? Do they make them get manicures and talk about their feelings?<br /><br />This whole subject with McPsychobigot just really gets to me. We seem to have a large ratio of gay people in my family, and I was always raised with the thinking of it's normal. That is how some people are, it is just how they feel and there is nothing wrong with it.<br /><br />So to have someone talk like McPsychobigot, <b>especially</b> someone that knows how bad those kinds of words can hurt someone-how dangerous they are, and then flat out lie, and then turn around and say "OOooooooh I'm going to rehab because I need help" just stinks. Just typing it has smelled up my whole blog.<br /><br />I watched Grey's Anatomy last night, and as Isaiah entered a scene all I could think about was what a nasty creature he is. There was no disconnecting the person from the character. <br /><br />Gay Rehab my ass. They need to fire his ass before one of my favorite shows is just forever gone to me.<br /><br />I'm really getting tired of these celebs that do these horrible things and just say "I need help, I'm going to rehab." Gibson can be the biggest bigot in the world, say really hateful, dangerous things, but then say he's a drunk so that's why.<br /><br />Bullshit. Some things are just <i>wrong</i> no matter what.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1169483066187407252007-01-22T10:21:00.000-06:002007-01-22T10:24:26.216-06:00Are you ready for some football?So you know you are from Chicago when you go to your friend's house and their little niece who is like one year and some months can't really say Mom or Dad or Hi or Bye but <i>can</i> say "GO BEARS."<br /><br />I remember my Dad crying three times in my life. The first two times were when each of my Grandmothers died.<br /><br />The third time was when the Bears won the Super Bowl.<br /><br />Here's a blast from the past:<br /><br /><a href="http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?_adv_prop=video&va=bears+super+bowl+shuffle&ei=UTF-8&b=0&oid=801af68bfff5bee4&rurl=music.yahoo.com&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fvideo%3F_adv_prop%3Dvideo%26va%3Dbears%2Bsuper%2Bbowl%2Bshuffle%26ei%3DUTF-8" target="_border">Super Bowl Shuffle Video</a><br /><br />It's painful to watch. #4 tries so hard...lol How could so many people with so little rhythm ever win a Super Bowl?<br /><br />Carry on...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1169253968045689082007-01-19T17:47:00.000-06:002007-01-19T18:46:08.163-06:00Stopping the CycleSo I'm afraid of things. Most of them are things that most people are afraid of like spiders and snakes and really any kind of bug.<br /><br />Some are not so common like how I'm scared to death of Jaws. Like that doesn't seem to uncommon I suppose, but when you stop to think about the fact that I'm afraid of Jaws in like Lake Michigan or a really big swimming pool late at night you start to come to the conclusion that this is not an ordinary fear.<br /><br />Which, by the way, I still blame on my stupid ass Aunt who took me to see Jaws when I was like 5.<br /><br />Anyway, I have this other unusual fear. It has drove many of the <a href="http://kj4ever.blogspot.com/2004/12/lessons-learned.html" target="_border">ex boyfriends</a> crazy. The Mystery Man and I used to travel a lot, and I think it got to him the most. "It is just IRRATIONAL," he would say. "I'm sitting right here for God's sake!"<br /><br />Just what was this irrational fear of mine? Something that terrified me so much I would never, ever do it in a million years, even with a big strong man right next to me?<br /><br />Eating in the car.<br /><br />Yes, you read that right. I have a highly irrational fear of eating in the car. TMM and I used to take this long road trips up the California coast and I'd insist we stop and eat instead of grabbing something to eat in the car.<br /><br />Now I explained why I have an irrational fear of Jaws, so I guess I should explain why I have this irrational fear of eating in the car.<br /><br />If you've read my blog at all you know that I grew up as a chunky/fat kid and lost weight in my early twenties.<br /><br />Well that fat person doesn't go away when you lose weight, and she is always there, just behind your eyes.<br /><br />My fear isn't because I'm afraid I'll get fat again, but because of a death. The death of someone I never met in my entire life.<br /><br />I was working for a two doctors while I was going to college-Married doctors just out of school. They were Optometrists, and one day they informed me they would be leaving town because a friend of theirs had died.<br /><br />This friend died while eating a Ho-Ho in the car. Choked to death. Now this was not enough to give me my irrational fear, no sir. It was what the male asshole doctor said after he told me how he died. "Figures. That guy was so fat he probably ate all the time!"<br /><br />Now at this time I was in the middle of going from chunky to curvy. Anyone who has ever been fat, is fat, might become fat, or is a skinny woman that has been called fat because jackasses know they can get to any female by calling her fat no matter how skinny she is (why is that?)can tell you when you hear the word fat you equate it to <b>me</b>.<br /><br />What if I died eating a Ho-Ho in my car? What if I died eating M&M's? Imagine the people saying, "Well that tank ass never could control her volumes of food."<br /><br />So began the fear. I don't think I have eaten in my car since then.<br /><br />Well today I stared that fear down. I've been moved back to days for a week at work, and after a complete nightmare of a day which included no calories at all, I was feeling a big light headed and weak.<br /><br />So I stopped at a Subway outside of work on my way home. My Veggie Delight on wheat sat there in the seat next to me begging to be eaten. Now I could have just ate there, but after being gone for 10 hours and my doggy sitter came after I was only gone for 2 I had to get home right away considering the sizable "mistake" a 125 pound puppy would make if he couldn't hold it any longer.<br /><br />So I'm driving on 94 with all the construction and asshats that don't know how to drive, and I'm starting to feel really, really sick. So I have a choice to make. Will I be the idiot that passed out from low blood sugar and caused the 20 car pile up on 94 and died or the formerly fat girl that choked to death on a veggie delight sub?<br /><br />I chose the later, thus going against my irrational fear of eating in the car, and I lived to tell (or write) about it..<br /><br />I'm thinking nothing can help me with the spider/bug thing, but at least I can eat when I'm hungry now.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1169177285743760152007-01-18T21:25:00.000-06:002007-01-18T21:28:05.780-06:00My HeroSo I blogged about my new love and addiction for <a href="http://kj4ever.blogspot.com/2007/01/so-whats-happenin.html" target="_border">Roswell</a> a bit ago on my blog.<br /><br />I just gotta say it. I heart Katherine Heigl. After how she called out McPsychobigot I want her to be my bestest friend.<br /><br />That is all.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1168809823386483652007-01-14T14:16:00.000-06:002007-01-18T19:46:24.250-06:00Hello Karma!So, I got my very first ticket today. After having a driver's License for 20 (holy! shit!) years, I have finally got a speeding ticket.<br /><br />Now I've been pulled over for just about everything you can think imagine. Speeding, blowing red lights (it was yellow, I swear officer), unsafe start, unsafe lane change (I didn't even know that existed), swerving, and expired license plates.<br /><br />Never once did I receive a ticket. I have a tried and true plan on how not to get tickets. Tell the truth. I did it, I'm sorry, give me a ticket if you must and let's get the show on the road.<br /><br />Double DD's don't hurt either.<br /><br />Anyway.<br /><br />I was driving through my old hometown this morning on my way to visit some family. Of course I was arriving late because it is unnatural to be up early on a Sunday morning unless you are a church person, which by the amount of fuck's you'll find in my blog, I'm obviously not.<br /><br />So this ticket might have ground on me a bit since I seem to be spiraling to 40 at an alarming rate.<br /><br />The only thing that saved me and my self esteem was who gave me the ticket.<br /><br />It was that bastard from Kindergarten.<br /><br />Now don't ever, ever think things you have done in your past will not come back to haunt you. Don't ever, ever think that your actions did not effect people, no matter how small, no matter how young you were.<br /><br />So let's go back in time, shall we? The year was 1976 and I was starting Kindergarten. Much to my horror I found a little boy in my class that had the same name as me-Kelly. Not only that, but he had the common version of my last name.<br /><br />My great great great grandfather changed our last name when he stole a horse and was on the run from the law. It was actually weirder before, but the way he changed the spelling has been the bane of my existence ever since then.<br /><br />So my real last name is one letter off from being a real common last name and sounds completely different. Fucking criminals. <br /><br />Anyway, so this potato of a head little boy decides that it is funny to point out that my last name is spelled wrong and that I have a boy first name, which all the other kids thought was real funny.<br /><br />I kept it cool man, because even at that young of an age I think I knew that little children can pick out weakness better then anyone on Earth. They can smell that shit from a mile away because none of that survival of the fittest stuff has been deprogrammed from their little brains.<br /><br />"Who's gonna listen to you, you are the Smelly Kelly!" I said. How one little sentence could make such an impact.<br /><br />He cracked. You could see the panic and discomfort as he scanned the room to see if anyone had picked up on that one. Oh, they had. They sensed that weakness. They sensed that fear. Little kids are brutal, man.<br /><br />So boy Kelly with the misspelled last name was forgotten about and Smelly Kelly was in for the rest of the year. He was Catholic, so he went to a private school after that, but rumor has it that he was called that all through elementary school.<br /><br />Whoops....He started it....I finished it...Survival of the fittest, right?<br /><br />Well it may have been survival of the fittest, but he definitely ended up getting the last laugh.<br /><br />Yep, Smelly Kelly is the one that pulled me over. Smelly Kelly is the one that gave me my first ticket. <br /><br />He did the whole I'm a bad ass cop swagger to my car. I rolled down the window while my breasts were accidentally flying out of my shirt. All of this while trying to get the big beast Nitro's head inside the car.<br /><br /><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/117/311283261_98596da765_m.jpg"><br /><br />Isn't he cute? Anyway...<br /><br />So I thought Smelly Kelly looked sort of familiar, but I haven't seen him since an accidental meeting in like 10th grade. I gave him the "I'm sorry Officer, I know I was speeding" blah blah blah speech as I handed him my license.<br /><br />The look of utter disgust as he recognized my name was clear. Crystal even...<br /><br />"I remember you from Kindergarten," he said. "I'm Kelly _____"<br /><br />Fuck me running. I knew I was screwed. I'm kind of surprised he didn't search my car and like plant drugs in it or something. He was probably afraid that Nitro would eat him.<br /><br />So as always karma has come around from a bad thing I did, which totally isn't fair since it was a self defense sort of deal. It kind of left me thinking though....<br /><br />If all it takes is $159 to have not been called Boy Kelly with the fucked up last name for the rest of my scholastic career, then I'll take it.<br /><br />Smelly Kelly still got the wrong end of the deal.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1168576686211961402007-01-11T22:35:00.000-06:002007-01-11T22:38:06.213-06:00I can't take it anymore...Ok, this has bothered me for years. YEARS.<br /><br />Why the fuck don't the fine folks at Blogger put the word Blogger into their spell checking device. Every time I type the word Blogger and go to the spell check I come up with suggestions like blocker, blockier, blacker, blusher.<br /><br />It really, really annoys the hell out of me. Why would they do this when the name of their site is Blogger?<br /><br />Someone please tell me why!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1168576389162040532007-01-11T22:12:00.000-06:002007-01-11T22:33:09.193-06:00Electronically Over-accessorizedSo every thing I log into blogger it taunts me with the whole "Your new version of Blogger is ready!"<br /><br />Like it's saying, "Hey dumb ass, upgrade to the better version already!"<br /><br />I'm fucking tired of better versions of electronic type things.<br /><br />Lately I have been yearning for the days of yesterday, days when I could leave my house, and no one could get a hold of me.<br /><br />Yeah, I had a pager, and starting in the early 90's I have had a cell phone, but unless it had a 911 attached to it no one really cared if you didn't answer a page right away and the price of a cell phone call was like calling the moon or something. I remember paying $50 a month for 75 minutes of talk time. Date myself much?<br /><br />Today I have a text pager, not one but two cell phones, and a two-way radio that I must keep on at all times at work. It's like all these electronic leashes wrapped around me.<br /><br />I fucking hate it.<br /><br />The whole downfall of this electronic revolution started with the whole Pagers! They're not just for drug dealers anymore! Phenomenon. Now before I said that unless you put 911 after your number no one really cared if you answered back right away.<br /><br />Then everyone started putting 911 after their number. Like all the time. It would be like calling an ambulance when you stubbed your toe, FFS.<br /><br />My old pager from yesteryear is probably still at the bottom of the Chicago River. Where I threw it. After my crazy ass ex paged me one time to many. At least it has good company, with Dave Matthew's feces settling around it by now.<br /><br />I heart Dave Matthew's, and I don't even rock the ganja......Well....Anymore...<br /><br />Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so people started abusing the pager thingy waaaay too much, and it was the beginning of the end. Then people started getting cell phones, and things have just gone horribly awry since all these cheap ass phone plans have come out.<br /><br />People get terribly upset with me. I actually shut my cell phone off. Nothing annoys the crap out of me more then when someone is standing in line at a store talking their whole personal life for everyone to hear and the cashier is trying to get their damn money so they can get the fuck out of my way.<br /><br />God that's rude. I can imagine how much cashier, servers, bank tellers, and the like hate cell phones. I bet they hate them almost as much as me.<br /><br />So when I'm grocery shopping or in a restaurant or driving in my fucking car I am sure there isn't anything that is soooooo important that people must get a hold of me right! now!<br /><br />But they sure act like they do. "Your cell phone was off again" or "Why didn't you answer your cell phone" are questions I hear on a daily basis.<br /><br />Because I fucking turned it off or was fucking busy or I fucking didn't want to talk to anybody right at that particular moment, ok?<br /><br />Then they get all hurt or mad or indignant because I waited a half hour to call them back. Like if I am eating in a restaurant with someone, I am sure as hell not going to answer my phone, and when people do it when they are with me I think it is rude as hell.<br /><br />Yes, rude! as! hell! all you cell phone addicts. There is a person right in front of you to talk to, so talk to them. Enjoy your meal. Cut the electronic cord for one hour. You might just like it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1168290710901296462007-01-08T15:06:00.000-06:002007-01-08T15:11:50.950-06:00The first day of workSo no, I didn't go and get another job or anything, it's just that so many people at work have taken the "you suck so we'll pay you to get the fuck out" package that many days feel like the first day of work.<br /><br />The worst part is I have all new bosses. It takes awhile to train a boss. I just got the last one broke in rather well when he went to be like the head of international quality for a major cell phone company.<br /><br />He did give me a free Razor at least......<br /><br />At first it seemed like it'd be ok, till one of the new bosses is one of <i>those</i>. The I'm fucking superman you peon so listen up types.<br /><br />Needless to say him and I spent a good month or so not getting along so well. This came to an end when I finally told him, "Look dude, I can be your best friend or you worst fucking nightmare. Take your pick."<br /><br />You have to know a lot of shit to get away with saying something like that, and fortunately I know more shit than anyone.<br /><br />It's been roses and kittens since then with the one with the God complex. Well, with me anyway. Everyone else still has major problems and they still hate him, but hell that is their problem for not knowing a lot of shit.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1168113979582817302007-01-06T13:35:00.000-06:002007-01-06T14:06:43.540-06:00So What's Happenin?So it's been almost a month since I wrote anything here. What's been going down on my end of the blogosphere you might ask?<br /><br />I blame my Mother totally for this one. My niece and I made an impromptu trip south of the Mason-Dixie line to visit the parental units.<br /><br />While visiting and having a grand old time the Sci-Fi channel had this marathon on. It was a show I had never heard of before.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.scifi.com/roswell/" target="_border">Roswell.</a><br /><br />"Ooooooh I love this show," my 60 something year old Mother gushed. "They say it's like a mix of Dawson's Creek and The X-Files."<br /><br />So the thought of my Mom even knowing what Dawson's Creek is blows my mind, until she tells me that she has no idea what it is but it must be good if it is like this show.<br /><br />Immediately I think this Roswell must be about horrible.<br /><br />But then we started watching it, and watching it, and watching it.<br /><br />It hooks you I tell you, and it is great. It has Katherine Heigl pre Grey's, Adam Rodriguez from CSI Miami later on in season three, that dude from The Grudge Jason Behr, Shiri Appleby from my all time favorite Project Greenlight Season, and Brendan Fehr also from CSI Miami.<br /><br />But the biggest surprise of this whole little show were two of the actors that have me as a fan for life: Colin Hanks (yes, Tom is his Dad but I didn't realize that until a sugar fueled coma sometime while I was watching season 3) and Majandra Delfino.<br /><br />Two of the finest comedic actors I have seen in a looooooooong time. Truly gifted.<br /><br />Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, so the addiction began at my Mom's as we watched 4 episodes of season 2. I really didn't understand what was going on as you kind of should start from the beginning in a show like this.<br /><br />So before using up three of my Netflix movies on this, I wandered over to You Tube and looked to see if they had any episodes uploaded. <br /><br />And here it is, the beginning of the end:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6zcB73LrON8"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6zcB73LrON8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br />I watched this and changed my little queue in Netflix for the first three disks of Roswell Season One.<br /><br />My niece and I ate them up like candy, and we decided we could not wait on Netflix for our Roswell fix so I trucked on over to Amazon and ordered all three seasons.<br /><br />Which I think brings up another interesting little point to the whole debate about You Tube and copyrighted material and all that jazz. I'm totally ADD. If I wouldn't have found it and watched that moment when Liz is saved by Max, I prolly would have forgotten all about Roswell.<br /><br />Instead I bought the whole series. Then I bought the whole series for my Mom for Christmas since she said she used to get to watch it every day but now Sci-Fi only has it on at like 4 in the morning on Fridays.<br /><br />Anyway, so my niece and I have spent a month watching three years of TV. We got to experience the ups and downs of Alien Hybrid teenagers figure out who they are, their place in this world, and how to deal with their human counterparts.<br /><br />Classic TV folks, I'd highly recommend it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1165506953793221332006-12-07T09:40:00.000-06:002006-12-07T09:55:53.956-06:00ScroogeSo yes, I am a big time Scrooge this year. I did my Christmas shopping in 20 minutes at Tar-jay. In the gift card section.<br /><br />The only people I bought actually presents that need wrapping paper and bows and all that jazz are for my parents-and I bought those on-line.<br /><br />I've never been a gift card type person. The whole thrill of finding that perfect present that would make someone's face light up when they opened it, yeah that was me. <br /><br />Bottom line is I'm just tired this year. That, and I won $1500 gambling Thanksgiving weekend so it made it real freakin' easy to stop by that poor man's Cosco and finish Christmas in no time flat.<br /><br />The whole "B" word is coming up too, and I don't know how happy I am about that. I'm mean Jesus, I'll be 36. <i>Thirty-six</i>. Dare I say that is closer to the 40's then the 20's? Granted, I wouldn't go back to the two-oooohs for nothing in this world, and the thirties have been good to me thus far, but I'm tellin' ya....No birthday's have ever freaked me out, but when I turn 40 I think I'm going to have some kind of breakdown. At it is still over 4 years away.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1163449777326395952006-11-13T14:21:00.000-06:002006-11-13T14:29:37.366-06:00Ahhhhh Haaaaa!Yes, I've had an ahhhh haaaaa! moment.<br /><br />As anyone who hasn't been bore with a super fast metabolism knows, weight loss/maintenance is a constant battle.<br /><br /> When I started this blog almost 3 years ago I was starting to lean towards being in the "chunky" category, which I quickly resolved before I headed straight towards the "tank ass" category.<br /><br />I had put a few pounds back on the last couple of weeks. By a few pounds I mean my clothes still fit but were decidely uncomfortable. Dangerously close to going up a size.<br /><br />Well now that weight is starting to come off. I'm a big believer in calories in/calories out. <br /><br />What was the change? What was going on almost 3 years ago when I started this blog?<br /><br />I was on the dayshift. I recently had to go to the dreaded shift for 3 weeks, in which I put on a whopping 7 pounds. In 3 weeks.<br /><br />I eat like a farmer when I'm on afternoons. When I was a small child and my parents forced us into child slave labor for our Grandparents, things were greatly different. Lunch, or dinner as they called it was the biggest meal of the day. Breakfast was the second biggest, and sometimes what we call dinner or they call supper was just a small snack.<br /><br />This is how I eat on afternoons. And I have no problem whatsoever in the maintenance of my weight when I'm on afternoons.<br /><br />On dayshift I find it hard to even grab a banana and yogurt at 4 in the morning, much less a big hearty breakfast. Lunch usually flies out the window because I hit snooze one to many times. So by the time I am driving home from work I am Famished with a capital "F".<br /><br />So there you go. I've done went and figured it all out!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1161740578098325522006-10-24T20:42:00.000-05:002006-10-24T20:42:58.126-05:00It's officalI'm a crazy dog lady. Long Live The King.<br /><center><br /><br /><img src="http://static.flickr.com/113/278707053_6e26b4f472.jpg?v=0"><br /></center>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1161643504931965342006-10-23T17:44:00.000-05:002006-10-23T17:45:04.956-05:00It's a bird...It's a plane...It's kj as Supergirl. For Halloween that is. More to come......Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1158674275092650132006-09-19T08:44:00.000-05:002006-09-19T08:57:55.143-05:007 months<center><br /><img src="http://static.flickr.com/88/246582923_94f6469220_m.jpg"><br /></center><br /><br />Look who's 7 months old. Why, it's my puppy Nitro. I'd guestimate him at about 95 pounds now, considering he was 85 @ 6 months. The days of picking him up and getting on the scale are long gone.<br /><br />The only way I could feel more safe is to have armed guards outside my house with machine guns.<br /><br />Yeah, you'd have to be pretty stupid to break in here if you got a look at that great big head that is full of great big teeth.<br /><br /><center><br /><img src="http://static.flickr.com/68/246582928_c53bdf0485_m.jpg"><br /></center><br /><br />Now I used to think that little hunny bunny (god help me that's what we call him most of the time) did not have an aggressive bone in his body. He is a baby that is bullied by the cats Oliver and Martini<br /><br /><center><br /><img src="http://static.flickr.com/57/167222196_67c874efa7_m.jpg"><br /></center><br /><br />and won't even go in the same room as the hamster. There will be no picture of the hamster Lucifer because I am deathly afraid of him and the only reason he lives in my house is because he is my nieces pet. That's all I got to say about that.<br /><br />I figured the German Shepherd half of him that would be protective had not kicked in <b>at all</b>. Oh, he follows me from room to room and is incredibly attached and loyal to me, but when you see a 95 pound dog scamper away because your niece is cleaning a hamster cage you gotta kind of wonder how much balls this dog actually has.<br /><br />Then we went for our walk and the really horrible neighbors with the really horrible pit bull had let him loose to run. As it snarled and ran towards us Nitro turned from hunny bunny to a dog that I do not know.<br /><br />I did not know he had that many teeth as he bared every single one of them. He did not lunge at the pit bull, he just stood in front of me emitting a very scary low growl while showing the dog exactly how big his teeth are. The pit bull said "fuck this" and ran the other way. Then Nitro returned to hunny bunny status and pranced around me, who was now frozen in shock, fear, and awe, because he wanted to get walking again.<br /><br />I have a feeling if anyone ever entered my house uninvited they'd leave on a stretcher. Who needs a gun when you can get a hunny bunny?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1158673299407610352006-09-19T08:29:00.000-05:002006-09-19T08:42:44.560-05:00It should be illegalSo I got home from work last night around 1:00 am, a couple of hours earlier then I usually roll in. My niece, who lives with me, is the TiVo queen. This means I just might be able to keep up with all that water cooler talk about the hot new fall shows.<br /><br />She had TiVo'd CBS's new show "The Class."<br /><br />It should be illegal for CBS to advertise that the people behind the show "The Class" are the same people behind "Friends" and "Mad About You."<br /><br />This is like comparing a little league team to a World Series championship team.<br /><br />It. Sucks. Hardcore.<br /><br />The Class tries as hard as a woman who just got laid properly for the first time.<br /><br />Yes, it is that bad.<br /><br />The only redeeming feature of this show is Jason Ritter, who shows great potential and really, really reminds me of his father, which I mean as a HUGE compliment.<br /><br />Maybe it'd be ok if I couldn't keep up with the water cooler talk, eh? Unless it is about Jericho, of course. See post below.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1158505191977147512006-09-17T09:54:00.000-05:002006-09-17T10:01:04.606-05:00I wonderSo I wonder if my day I had yesterday is how people live if they are rich or a housewife.<br /><br />I'm guessing not, since rich people more then likely work thus the rich part, and housewives usually have kids which mean there is no way in hell you'd have a day like I had yesterday.<br /><br />Unless you are a rich housewife that has a nanny. Yeah, that's it. Yesterday was like if I was a rich housewife with a nanny.<br /><br />But not a maid, because I did have that chore to do, which only took an hour or so.<br /><br />Then I was free........<br /><br />So I spent a good portion of the day lounging on the couch, planted some bulbs for next spring, caught up on some emails, watched a couple of movies, surfed the net for awhile, and ate some bad for me food.<br /><br />Heaven, pure heaven.<br /><br />One thing that I did do yesterday was watch <a href="http://tv.yahoo.com/feature/fall06/?d=200" target="_border">this</a> on Y! TV. It happened by accident really, and I found myself riveted to my computer while I watched the first episode of Jericho.<br /><br />Riveted. I'm telling you people, if the rest of the season of this show is this good......I've found a new addiction.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1158416326094192112006-09-16T09:01:00.000-05:002006-09-16T09:18:46.253-05:00Lazy SaturdaySo for the first time in a long time I think I might get a lazy Saturday.<br /><br />A Saturday where I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do.<br /><br /><a href="http://kj4ever.blogspot.com/2006/01/grounded-at-35.html" target="_border">My friend C</a> is coming over for a bit this morning. My lovely now 90-95 pound 6 and a 1/2 month old puppy has learned how to open the gate in my back yard. He's coming to install a taller gate with double locks.<br /><br />Double locks for fuck's sake. <br /><br />C has got to be real sick of my house, and eventually my I loooooove yooooooooou's are not gonna work anymore. I just want the work to end around here. My bank account wants the work to end around here. I shouldn't complain about that though, since it basically just costs me the materials because C looooooooooove's me.<br /><br />So after C is done I have nada to do. My new business venture has taken up way more time then I thought it would (and made me a hell of a lot more money then I thought it would). You gotta love being on the ground floor for something that has just started out west. <br /><br />On top of that I had all the construction stuff going on, a long distance type relationship going on, a very bad puppy, crazy working hours at my regular job, and friends that need to be seen.<br /><br />I haven't had a fucking minute to myself in about two months. But today....The construction is pretty much done, the sometimes-boyfriend is on a guy's weekend, the very bad puppy is wore out from playing with his girlfriend, Rizzo the Boxer, <br /><br /><img src="http://static.flickr.com/58/208425536_27bfac5975_m.jpg"><br /><br />I am off work at my regular job, and my friends all have family crap going on.<br /><br />A whole day to do <i>nothing</i>.<br /><br />Honestly I can't remember the last time I had a day like that.<br /><br />Oh how wonderful this shall be......Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1158329947610114272006-09-15T08:58:00.000-05:002006-09-15T13:16:24.286-05:00I'm a Soccer MomOk, so technically I don't have any kids, but I now look like a Soccer Mom. At least while driving.<br /><br />Who am I kidding, my big ass honking SUV's of the past made me probably look like a Soccer Mom, but I didn't see it that way.<br /><br />This new vehicle, ummm yeah, it is total Soccer Mom.<br /><br />You see ever since that fateful day back in 1998 when Chicago got dumped on with snow and my itty bitty Escort GT (you know, the really good Escort *snort*) would not get me out of here I have owned something that could switch to 4x4 and climb a damn mountain if necessary.<br /><br />I think I wrote about it before, but here's a recap. My brother came to get me because there was no power and I used the last of my water (have a well, didn't realize it ran on <i>electric</i>) to fill up my cat and dog's bowls. So after one huge ass fight about how I was in no uncertain terms leaving my animals we (my brother, cat, dog, and I) made our way to his house because he had a generator. He had a big honkin' F250, and the normally five mile trip took an hour.<br /><br />His two year old had chicken pox, and his 6 year old was just getting over them. Two very cranky kids. His wife was pissed that my animals came with, every freakin' person in the neighborhood was there, and I ended up breakin' up with my then boyfriend because we had a major cell phone fight.<br /><br />I was <b>trapped</b> and I swore that would never happen again.<br /><br />So I have always owned SUV's since then. With my tendency of crashing this isn't just for snow purposes people. I need something safe.<br /><br />Well gas prices don't exactly mix with SUV's right now, mine had about 130,000 miles on it (I go lots 'o places), and I hadn't exactly kept up with the maintenance part of the deal.<br /><br />As my truck was smoking and leaking, I pondered on why the hell I was so stupid and didn't keep up with that maintenance part of the deal.<br /><br />Anyway, I had a choice. Fix it, which was going to cost some major $$$$, or get a new one.<br /><br />So I bought a car. Not just any car, the car we make here in Chicago. The Soccer Mom car. A Five Hundred.<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://www.myford500.com/photos/data/2/1CHICAGOjob1_7993.jpg"><br /><br />There they are rolling off the line where I work. It's a big honkin' car, just voted the safest in America.<br /><br />Which I totally need.<br /><br />While this isn't a vehicle I would normally pick out, I decided to support my plant and to support American made Union made products. I know, I know, those little foreign car manufacturers have their little plants here, but when you think that the American car companies employ like 3,000,000 people they they employ 300,000, it kind of puts it into perspective.<br /><br />Yeah, hungry? Eat your foreign car comes to mind. How the hell did I get on my soap box? Ok, getting back down now.<br /><br />So I decided to support Chicago. It isn't that it is a bad looking car. I totally love the way it drives and how it sits up high and the interior feels like a luxury car.<br /><br />It's just that I've always had well different vehicles. Like when I bought my first car. It was this candy apple red Escort. Once I realized that there were a million other candy apple red Escorts my Dad and I proceeded to paint it PINK. Like Bubble Gum Pink.<br /><br />I then bought a PURPLE Escort GT. Back then I couldn't fathom buying a car that costs as much as a really small house, so I always went cheap, and always went Ford for obvious reasons.<br /><br />Then the storm hit and I bought my first semi-expensive vehicle. The Explorer.<br /><br />Oh how I hearted that truck. I would probably still be driving it if it wasn't for that little incident with the black ice and the guard rail. Oppps!! The people that picked it up assumed I was dead, thus enforcing my belief that I needed a really big, safe suv.<br /><br />So I'm back to a car, which I sure will make my tree-hugger Mama happy. I must admit, even though it isn't Pink, and even though it doesn't have a GT in the name, and even though it has four doors, I'm really diggin' it.<br /><br />It's so smooth and quiet. You ride up high like in a truck, so you can really see. It has lots of cool bells and whistles like a navigation system and satellite radio.<br /><br />All for way cheaper then my truck. I can probably get about 3 new coach purses a year with how much cheaper it is. Yay!<br /><br />Let me tell you about the interior folks.....Beautiful soft leather seats that would fit a line backer. I feel like a size 0 model on a skinny day in it. My friend C, who is 6'5, can cross his legs in the back seat, which is good because the huge puppy Nitro<br /><br /><img src="http://static.flickr.com/78/208438622_e3bbb8a2c0_m.jpg"><br /><br />will have to fit back there.<br /><br />So yeah, I'm diggin' being a soccer mom. <br /><br />My GOD please tell me this doesn't mean I am fucking growing up, mmmkay?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1157816874045402502006-09-09T10:47:00.000-05:002006-09-09T10:47:54.103-05:00Admitting is the first stepWhen is the last time you went trick-or-treating and dressed up and asked for candy?<br /><br />I didn't do it last year, so for me it would be 33.<br /><br />Age is a state of mind they say.<br /><br />That is all.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7299329.post-1157649354990420032006-09-07T11:45:00.000-05:002006-09-07T12:15:55.400-05:00Damn Disney to HellSo if you have read this blog for any amount of time you may have come to realize that I love Halloween a little more then the average person.<br /><br />Ok, I love it a lot more then the average person. The annual Halloween party that is thrown by my friends and I is <b>the</b> party of the year. It is the party that people talk about for months afterwards. It is the party that turns people into insecure 15 year olds praying they get an invite.<br /><br />I'm having a bit of an issue this year. You see, my bestest friends and I always do some kind of theme. Like last year we were <a href="http://kj4ever.blogspot.com/2004/10/how-dry-i-am.html" target="_border">fairies</a>, and another year we were <a href="http://kj4ever.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_kj4ever_archive.html" target="_border">fembots.</a><br /><br />Well this year someone came up with the brilliant idea to be Princesses from Disney. Ok, the idiot was me. Originally we wanted to be Kiss, but since my sis-in-law just had twins in February it is going to take her another year to have her body spandex-ready.<br /><br />Anyway, so I thought it would be cute to do the whole Disney Princess thing. Actually I have always always always wanted to be Cinderella for Halloween.<br /><br />So I was excited when I found out that a local party store had their costumes out already. I went found a beautiful deluxe Cinderella costume. Just gorgeous.<br /><br />Then I remembered why we are usually so original with our costumes and make them ourself.<br /><br />The dreaded Adult-Size-Standard.<br /><br />You see, the costume companies do not exactly anticipate that some of their customers may have bigger then a B Cup. The adult-size standard usually encompasses a size 10-12. No prob, as I'm an 8 on the bottom right?<br /><br />As I slipped on the beautiful Cinderella dress everything seemed fine. I started zipping it. No problem as the zipper went over the small of my back with ease and room to spare.<br /><br />Then I got to that spot about 4 inches above the small of my back. The dreaded area that I always have problems with.<br /><br />About the only way I could get it zipped there would be a yard of material and a miracle from God.<br /><br />I mean, check out the pictures of these damn disney princesses. They have a little tiny waist. They have no hips to speak of. Oh yes, they also have quite a rack.<br /><br />Ummm hello that kind of costum would fit perfect!! Why don't they make them like that??? Why do they assume that every person that is a size 10-12 have the breast of a 10-12 year old boy?<br /><br />What the fuck?<br /><br />So I checked out some plus-sized costumes thinking that I could get someone to take it in for me. The only one they had was Snow-Freaking-White and I don't wanna be Snow-Freaking-White. They'd also have to cut 3/4 of the damn thing off to fit my damn hips and waist.<br /><br />This is such bullshit.<br /><br />So I can either be Snow-Freaking-White, buy the Cinderella costume and try and find fabric to make it bigger, or try like hell to find a plus-sized one somewhere out there on the Internet and get it taken in.<br /><br />Looking on the Internet has not been working out to well. They have some, but not much in the plus-sized arena as far as Disney goes. Mostly ghastly Mini-Mouse crap. I did come to find a couple of "Sin"-derella costumes.<br /><br />Sinderella? FFS...... Why is it they try and sexy up all these costumes? Sexy Raggedy Ann....Sexy Bo Peep....Sexy Judge...Yes, that's right, sexy judge. Anytime I have been standing in front of a judge sexy is the last thing I thought of, but I digress from my digression...<br /><br />So Halloween is not going well so far this year. Will I be Cinderella? Will I be a rather grumpy Snow-Freaking-White? Only time will tell. Stay tuned.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12286533198577921173noreply@blogger.com0