Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I almost didn't recognize you...

he said as he looked me up and down. Time sure has been good to you! Translation: Damn, you're not fat anymore. I sure hope I was nice to you when you were a tank ass.

I haven't had that in a long time. Someone who is shocked by my appearance. Back in the beginning of my blog I touch on it a bit, but I don't really talk about it to much. You can read a bit about it here.

When all was said and done, I think I lost around 70 lbs. I didn't get the next, more annoying to me question from this man, which is usually, "How did you lose so much weight???"

I ate less calories then my body burned. Simple math. Now I eat the same amount of calories that my body burns. When I say things like this, people look at me like I just said a space ship came and took me away and implanted some kind of alien tape worm in me.

I've kept this weight off all these years by my simple math equation. I was around 19 when I started losing, and probably finished up by 21. Yes, it took a long time, but I changed my whole way of life to do that.

This was the kind of situation fat people dream about. The man asking the question today was a very popular person in high school that a lot of girls had a crush on. We have many new people coming into our plant now that we are launching a new vehicle, and he was one of the many new hires.

The situation never lives up to the fantasy a school girl might have, especially since the person in question is now balding with a beer belly. That could probably kill a fantasy really quick.

You get used to comments like this, but after people get used to you they stop. Random people you haven't seen in forever like this gentleman come into the picture every once in awhile, and I think that is when a lot of people fall off the proverbial wagon.

I, being the weirdo that I am, always found these situations uncomfortable. It has taken a lot for me to get used to my new body, and in many ways I am still a bit uncomfortable.

The other big question I get asked by people is how do you keep it off. If I could give one piece of advice on weight loss, it would be to do something with weights. Weight training is one of the main reasons I kept off the weight.

I honestly eat more now then I did then. My body requires more calories because of my muscle mass. No, I am not a body builder looking chick at all, but by doing weight training I have kicked my metabolism into overdrive, and kept everything in it's full, upright, and locked position if you know what I mean.

My second senario with a new hire today still has me speechless. It is a good thing I can still type....

We had a car that was going to be used for marketing purposes, i.e. commercials, auto shows, and the like. They sent a really young, probably about 19, Brad Pitt look-a-like to get the car from where it was being "fluffed and buffed."

"I can't get into the car, it's locked" he told me as I thanked God he was of age. I walked over to where the car was, and asked him where were the keys. "Oh, the keys are right here," he said as he dangled them in front of me, "but the remote is missing."

No. Please God don't let this be what I think it is.

"Is it the wrong key?" I ask, praying to God that it is. "I don't know, I can't get in the car," he replied.

Deep breaths....Deep breaths...

"Doesn't the key work in the door?"

"The door?"

"You know, the door. Key in the door. To..open..it..." I didn't know if I should laugh or cry at this point.

"Oh! I could use the key to open the door!" This really excited him.

"Uuuh, yeah, that is what keys are for."

"I've never opened a door with a car key." So he proceeds to open the door miraculously with a KEY! and is all excited about it.

Either I'm really old, or this guy stood in the pretty line while they were passing brains out.

*slams head into wall repeatedly* These people will be running the country someday. I hope the nuke button doesn't have a remote.

In totally unrelated news, the communists over at Blog Explosions have rejected my cheesy banner because it has the word f*ck's in it. Nazi bastards...My pimp Pink Poppy is not goin to be happy about this at all. I say she is my pimp as she gets a percentage of my blog points since she referred me. Thought I better clear that up.

They do have a conscious I think, because they then awarded me various mystery points every time I clicked on something. I won the 50, 10, 25, and the 2. Go me...

2 comments:

Unknown said...

hmmm...

Pink Poppy said...

LOL! You are too funny! And I guess that makes me Annie's pimp, as well... Glad you got the banner thing worked out. I actually SAW the banner yesterday! VERY clever and provocative. I can certainly see why you got so many click-through's from it.

Good post, too.